


Judgement Day

by BackinBlack_80



Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series), Karate Kid (Movies)
Genre: Daniel and Johnny join forces, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kreese is back, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:27:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25844287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BackinBlack_80/pseuds/BackinBlack_80
Summary: It started out seemingly innocent. So innocent that Johnny was sure he had imagined it. A hand resting for a touch too long, a hand on the hip to correct his posture. Just the kind of things that any good Sensei would do for their student. Nothing to be concerned about, right?***********************Thirty four years later, a face from Johnny's past walks back into his life, bringing with it the trauma he spent years getting over, and not getting over, but this time the stakes are so much higher.
Comments: 35
Kudos: 206





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I'm Only Heading Down](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15100826) by [A_LazyPanda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_LazyPanda/pseuds/A_LazyPanda). 



> This work was inspired by a chapter from another piece of work that I read on this site. No plagiarism intended, I just enjoyed the work and felt inspired. I have referenced the piece.
> 
> Warnings for non-con/rape, abuse, self-harm, suicidal thoughts. Subjects are described and discussed in length, consider this a trigger warning.
> 
> New chapter added 8/11/20 - I wanted to follow up with this story and it has now become a multi-parter.

**1984**

It started out seemingly innocent. So innocent that Johnny was sure he had imagined it. A hand resting for a touch too long, a hand on the hip to correct his posture. Just the kind of things that any good Sensei would do for their student. Nothing to be concerned about, right?

_I didn’t imagine it. I know I didn’t._

(You must think something of yourself to think that. What, you're so pretty that even middle-aged men can’t keep their hands off? Get over yourself.)

He shook his head and refocused on his stance. He had been asked to lead the class again, a privilege that everyone wanted. He was the star pupil, couldn't let them see him without his head in the game.

****************

Two weeks later class ended as usual. Johnny stayed back to clear up the equipment, getting into the locker room after everyone else had left. Facing the lockers, he untied his belt as he felt eyes on the back of his head. He turned his head to see Kreese leaning against the door frame, hands in his belt, watching him.

‘Sensei?’

No response. Kreese continued to stare at him. Johnny started to feel uncomfortable under his gaze and looked away. He turned his back and pretended to search his bag, wanting Kreese to leave so he could change and get out of there.

He turned again and Kreese was gone. Johnny let out a long breath and pulled off his gi, throwing a t- shirt over his head. Didn’t stop to change his bottom half, slipped his shoes on, no time for socks, and grabbed his bag. Half running across the dojo, he looked round to see Kreese’s office door was closed.

Only when he got to the car, did he realise that his hands were shaking.

****************

At breakfast the next morning, Johnny’s mother put her hand to his forehead.

‘Are you sure nothing is wrong? You’re not coming down with something?

‘I’m fine, Mum. Stop fussing.’

‘Still upset about Ali?’

‘No, not anymore’

His mother ran her hand through his hair, brushing it away from his eyes, before kissing him on the head. ‘Well, if you are sure’

‘Honestly, Mum. Everything is fine. How about we have lunch today? Catch up?’

‘Oh honey, I’m sorry. I have lunch planned at the club today’

‘Tomorrow?’

‘You know Sunday is my spa day. Let’s have some time next week. Dinner one night.’

‘OK,’

‘You don’t want to hang around with your mother on a Saturday, anyway. Where are you friends today? Why don’t you head to the mall?’

‘Yeah, maybe’

‘See you later, honey. Love you’

‘Love you too’

He sat at the kitchen counter as he heard the front door close and the car drive away. He stirred his coffee, staring out of the window. Deep in his thoughts, he didn’t hear the kitchen door opening.

‘Is this how you plan to spend your whole weekend?!’

Johnny jumped, spilling his drink, and looked round at Sid.

‘Lazy shit’

Johnny looked away and started to get up, wiping the coffee with his shirt sleeve.

‘I was just going out’ he said as he picked up his mug.

‘Yeah, fuck off. Your mother is out with her dumbass friends and I want some peace. I don’t need some fucking teen hanging around the house’.

Johnny didn’t respond, leaving the room. He grabbed his jacket and headed to the garage for his bike. He didn’t know where he was going, just wanting to ride and clear his head. He only turned off when he saw the road for the beach.

****************

Monday morning came round. Johnny stared at his bedroom ceiling, dreading the week ahead. Didn’t want to see his friends. Didn’t want to see Ali hanging around with that little prick she had taken a shine to. Definitely didn’t want to go to karate practice. He considered claiming sickness and staying home, but also didn’t want to hear Sid’s snide comments all day.

He climbed out of bed and walked over to his bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, sighed and started to get ready for school.

****************

‘Hey dipshit!’

Dutch, Jimmy, and Tommy ran towards Johnny. ‘Who are you calling dipshit, dipshit?!’ Johnny laughed and punched Dutch in the arm.

‘Where were you all weekend? We had some beers on Saturday night. You didn’t show’.

‘Yeah, I wasn’t feeling great. Decided to stay in’.

‘Aw poor baby. You want me to kiss it better’ Dutch messed up Johnny’s hair, laughing.

‘Fuck off, man!’ He pushed Dutch away, smoothing out his hair.

Tommy started towards the entrance. ‘Come on, guys. We’re gonna be late for class’.

They turned and followed Tommy. As they approached the door, Johnny felt someone bump into him.

‘Oh sorry’

Johnny turned and saw Daniel LaRusso standing in front of him. Johnny squared himself up to full height. ‘Watch where you’re walking, LaRusso’.

Ali came up behind Daniel. ‘Come on, Daniel. Don’t bother with him’ She looked up at Johnny. ‘Arsehole’ She took Daniel’s hand and they walked away. Daniel smirked at Johnny as Ali led him away.

‘That kid is just asking for another kicking’ Dutch said, hand on Johnny’s shoulder.

‘Just leave it’ Johnny responded. All he really wanted was to keep out of their way. He wasn’t sure if he could handle a girl in his life right now anyway but didn’t need to be reminded of what he had lost.

****************

Thursday night karate practice ended well. Johnny was feeling good and he knew he performed well. There were some new students and Kreese was showing off his star pupil, asking him to demonstrate complex moves. He had nailed them and smiled as he started towards the lockers, having hung back to give the newbies a pep talk before they left.

‘Mr Lawrence, can I see you?’

‘Sure, Sensei.’ He turned to Bobby who was waiting for him. ‘See you tomorrow’

‘You want a ride home’

‘No, you head off'

‘OK. See ya’

As Johnny headed towards the office, he realised that everyone had left. He had had such a good practice that any concerns about the past weeks had drifted away. They started to creep back, and he suddenly felt nervous. He squared his shoulders. ‘You’re being stupid’ he muttered to himself.

‘You wanted to see me’

‘Come in. Close the door’. Johnny closed the door to the office, stood in front of the desk.

Kreese sat behind his desk, lighting a cigar. ‘You did well today. Moved well’

‘Thank you, Sensei’

‘But you look stiff in your shoulders and back. Are you hurt?’

‘No Sensei.’

‘Hmmmm’. Kreese looked thoughtful and stood up, putting his smoking cigar in the ashtray, and walked round his desk. ‘Take off your gi’

‘What?’

‘Take off your gi. I want to look at you’

‘But…..why….?’ Johnny stammered.

‘Because I told you to’

‘No….I’m fine’

Kreese moved closer to him. Johnny could smell the cigar on his breath. ‘Are you saying no to me, Mr Lawrence?’. Kreese stared hard into his eyes, not blinking.

‘No…..I just……’ Johnny could feel his pulse racing. He dragged his gaze away from the man’s and looked down.

‘Then take it off’. Kreese stepped back, leaning against his desk, and looked at him

Johnny started to undo his belt and pulled off his top. His hands were shaking as he put it on the desk.

‘And the rest’

‘Sensei, I…..’

‘What is the problem?’

‘Nothing, Sensei’ He whispered.

Johnny stepped out of his clothes and folded them, putting them on the desk. He felt naked and vulnerable in his underwear, fighting to keep his hands at his sides, resisting the urge to cover himself.

Kreese got up and started to look him up and down. He moved towards him and moved behind him. He put his hands on his waist. ‘You’re tense’. It wasn’t a question.

Johnny didn’t respond, just swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He could feel goose bumps on his skin as the man’s hands moved up the sides of him and stopped on his shoulders. He could feel fingers start to rub the muscles there.

_Please stop. Please stop._

He could feel breath on the back of his neck. His pulse was racing, he felt like he was going to faint.

The hands moved away. There was silence behind him. After a tense moment he asked, ‘Sensei?’

‘Get out’. The voice was quiet, menacingly so.

‘What…..I…..I can go?’

‘Get the fuck out. Take your clothes.’

Johnny grabbed his things, didn’t dare look at his Sensei, and ran in his underwear to the locker room. He scrambled to put his clothes on and ran for the door, terrified that the man would change his mind, call him back.

He could feel the lump grow in his throat and started to feel lightheaded. As he got out into the hot street, he bent over, hyperventilating. He put his hands on his knees and tried to control his breathing. He could feel tears. He rubbed the ball of his hand onto his eyes so hard he saw stars and breathed deeply.

Once his breath started to even out, he started to walk to his bike.

****************

Johnny woke with a start in the dark, bed clothes wrapped around his legs, sweating, his pulse racing, hands raised ready to fight off an invisible enemy.

_Just a dream._

He tried to remember what had frightened him so much, but the nightmare was fading like smoke. He looked up at his clock. 2.40am. He knew he wouldn't go back to sleep. He didn't want to go back to sleep. He swung his legs over the edge of his bed and stood up.

He pulled on some pants and crept downstairs. The house was dark and quiet, everyone fast asleep. He slipped out of the kitchen door and onto the patio. He walked past the pool, down the long path to a bench at the end of the garden, out of sight of the house, the moon the only thing lighting the way.

Johnny laid on the bench, looking up at the dark sky and the stars. He could hear the traffic in the distance, sirens, the noise of the city, far away from the security of his large home and its grounds. He took a joint and lighter out of his pocket and lit it, inhaling deeply.

_What the fuck am I going to do?_

(I can’t tell, Mum. She wouldn't care.)

_Of course she would! She would be devastated. Disgusted._

(Yeah, disgusted with me. Her baby boy, tempting grown men. What would she think?)

_I didn’t tempt him. This isn't my fault._

(Of course it’s your fault. You should see yourself. Making yourself look pretty. Showing off in class. What did you expect?)

_I didn’t ask for this._

(What else did you think he wanted from you?)

****************

Johnny opened his eyes against the harsh sun, quickly blocking it with his arm.

_Shit, what time is it?_

He has fallen asleep, remains of three joints on the grass. He felt terrible. Knew he shouldn't have smoked so much in such a short amount of time. But one wasn’t enough, he had started to relax only after he lit the third. He had never needed more than one before. Two if he really wanted to have a good time. Never three.

He pulled himself up to sitting. He looked up and noticed his stepfather’s gardener looking at him across the lawn, raking leaves. The man shook his head at him and went back to his work.

_What the fuck are you looking at? Who the fuck are you to judge me?_

Johnny got up and started to walk across the garden. As he passed the man he muttered aggressively ‘something wrong?’. The gardening pretended not to hear and didn’t look up.

He knew his stepfather would hear about this. He knew that the staff spied on Johnny and his mother, always had. He knew that nothing in the house was truly his, that nothing was private. He always noticed when his belongings had been moved, the cleaners had looked through his room while going about their work, that any indiscretion or discovery would be reported back, to be used against him in the future.

If it was bad for him, he couldn’t imagine how it was for his mother

_Yeah, but she brought us to this house. We could have left at any time._

****************

‘Jesus, Johnny, you look like shit. Weren’t you wearing that yesterday?’ Bobby whispered across their desk while the teacher moved to the board. ‘What is up with your hair?’

Johnny looked up from his book. ‘I’m fine. Just a late night.’ He ran his fingers through his hair, suddenly self-conscious.

Dutch lent over ‘Don’t worry, Johnny-boy. If you are planning to let yourself go it gives me a chance with the ladies’.

‘Ha ha’ Johnny retorted.

Johnny went back to his book, ignoring his friend's laughter. At lunch he went into the bathrooms and looked at himself in the mirror.

‘Wow, I do look like shit’ He said to himself. He filled the basin and splashed some water on his face. As he looked back at himself, he saw the dark-haired kid standing behind him, staring at him.

‘What are you looking at?’ He said grumpily.

Daniel started back at him. ‘Is everything OK Johnny? You don’t look well.’

Johnny stepped towards him, hands at his sides clenched into fists. ‘What do you care. Why don’t you mind your business’

‘Hey, I didn’t mean anything’.

‘Well I am fine. I don’t need your concern’.

‘Suit yourself’

Daniel walked out, closing the door behind him. Johnny turned towards the stalls, locking the door behind him. He lent his forehead against the cold stall wall, starting to feel angry.

‘Fucking prick’ He said as he punched the tiled wall, wishing it could be his Sensei, his stepfather, anyone. He punched again. Tears built up as he grabbed his fist, seeing bruises already starting to form.

_Stupid. Stupid._

****************

‘That fucking kid of yours is taking drugs!’

Johnny knew he was walking into trouble.

‘He isn’t. Why would you say that?’

‘He was smoking drugs in the garden. This is what you bring into my home!’ He heard a cry and a thump. He ran into the dining room and saw his mother holding her face, his stepfather standing over her, hand wrapped around her wrist.

‘Don’t fucking touch her!’

‘Oh, he’s home. You been taking drugs, you little shit’

‘Fuck you, Sid. Have you been checking in with your spies?’

‘This is my fucking house you live in’. Sid walked toward him. Johnny moved into a fighting stance. Sid chuckled. ‘You think you’re a big man. You and your karate. Come on then, big shot. Hit me. I fucking dare you’.

‘Leave him alone, Sid’ his mother called across the room.

‘You shut up. Come on then, you gonna take a pop at me?’

Johnny looked at him and at his mother. His mother stared at him, afraid for him. She shook her head at him, pleading with her eyes.

He brought his fists down. ‘No, sir’ He said quietly.

‘What was that?! I didn’t hear you’

‘No, sir’ He said louder.

‘I didn’t think so’. Sid pushed past him and walked out of the room.

Johnny looked at his mother.

‘I’m sorry, honey’.

‘Don’t bother.’ Johnny walked away, hearing his mother’s sobs as he left the room, not looking back.

****************

Back at practice, Johnny was standing at the back, hoping not to be noticed, but knew that the star pupil hanging around at the back was unusual. He saw Tommy, Jimmy and Bobby nudging each other and looking back at him. Dutch ignored him, hoping to be seen outside of Johnny’s shadow.

Kreese passed the front of the room, shouting his slogans as they worked through their exercises. ‘Right, sparing. Get organized’.

Everyone got into their positions, with a student collecting the flags.

‘Lawrence, you’re up. You can’t hide from me at the back. Choose your opponent. One of the newbies’

Johnny stepped up and pointed to one of the younger students. ‘You’.

The boy stopped into the square. It was his first time up against the infamous Johnny Lawrence and he expected to lose. He got into his fighting stance and knew he needed to strike first. He threw a punch, which was easily blocked and found himself on his back, having had his legs thrown out from under him.

‘Finish him’

On command Johnny hit at the child on the ground with a fist to the face.

‘Good. Get up. Back into position’

Johnny gave the boy a hand up, bowing to him, who went back to his place in the square, nose dripping with blood.

Johnny was now numb to the damage he caused these kids. He has been through it himself and now it was his turn. It made them strong, he told himself.

_Strong like you? Can’t protect his mother. Can’t even protect himself._

Johnny blocked the voice in his head out as he kicked the next challenger in the jaw, dropping him in one easy move, and went in for the finishing blow.

****************

The next few weeks were uneventful. Johnny hid in his room, only leaving for school and practice. He stayed off the pot, knowing that it was his mother who would suffer if he screwed up again.

He has been keeping a low profile at practice. Arriving as class started, sacrificing his normal stretching routine, and making a run for the door as soon as they were dismissed. He often heard his friends calling after him, but he never looked back.

One day at school Bobby came and found him. ‘Hi Johnny, is everything alright’ He looked at his friend with concern.

‘Everything is fine. Why?’ Johnny tried to keep things relaxed, to look chilled out.

‘We haven't seen you for ages. You run to and from practice. You still look like shit by the way. Do you know you’re losing weight?’

Johnny looked down at himself. Maybe he hadn’t been eating much recently, missing meals to avoid having to speak to anyone. Shit, did it show?

‘My Mum hasn’t been well, and Sid is being an arsehole. Just a bit stressed. Nothing to worry about’ He tried to sound reassuring.

‘Right….well how about you join us after school. We are going to go to the beach and have a BBQ. Get some beers, bother the girls. Dutch is determined to get this one chick to go down on him. Want to go and ruin his chances?’ Bobby said with a laugh.

‘No, I don’t think so. But thanks’

‘Come on Johnny. What is up? Don’t lie to me, you can talk to me’

‘Please don’t ask me to tell you’

‘So, there is something?’

‘I just want to be alone. Please’

OK, buddy. You know you can talk to me, right’.

‘I just need to deal with this myself’.

‘Yeah, OK. Well, I’m here if you want me’.

‘Sure’ Johnny muttered as he grabbed his books and walked away from his friends.

Bobby watched him walk away. He was scared for his friend. He knew Johnny wasn’t as strong as he made out, despite his athletic abilities, and knew something serious was happening. He saw it in his friend’s eyes.

****************

The boys were back in the dojo. As practice ended, Johnny raced to get his shoes back on. He has got into the habit of arriving and leaving in his gi, hoping to spend as little time there as possible. He wanted to just quit altogether but couldn't bring himself to walk away from the only thing he has ever been good at.

He was almost at the door. ‘Mr Lawrence, in my office’

Johnny's heart sank. He turned and looked at Kreese standing in his office doorway. There was a pause as Kreese watched the other students leave. Johnny could feel his pulse rate increase as he watched his friends head for the exit.

_Please don’t leave me with him._

‘See you at school tomorrow, Johnny’, someone called as they left. Johnny’s voice stuck in his throat.

‘In here, Mr Lawrence. Don’t keep me waiting’ Kreese stepped into his office and walked around his desk. Johnny stepped into the room. ‘Close the door’.

Johnny stood in front of the desk, silent. Kreese looked at him. Johnny didn’t catch his eye.

‘You have been hiding from me’. It wasn't a question.

Johnny didn’t answer. ‘Look at your Sensei when he is talking to you!’ Kreese suddenly shouted.

Johnny jumped and looked down at Kreese.

‘You have been running in and out of here every day for weeks. Don’t you want to be here?’

‘No Sensei’ Johnny said quietly.

‘No, what?! No, you haven’t been hiding from me or no you don’t to be here’.

‘I haven’t been hiding. I want to be here’

‘Good. I am glad to hear it’

Kreese went silent and continued to watch him. Johnny looked at his feet, feeling small under the weight of his gaze. After a long silence that seemed to stretch on forever, Kreese spoke.

‘Are you a virgin, Mr Lawrence?’

‘What….why….why are you asking?’ Johnny stammered, looking up, shocked at the change of subject.

‘It’s a simple question. Are you a virgin? Have you fucked….or been fucked?’.

Johnny winced at the crudeness of the words. Kreese saw his reaction, smiled, and lit a cigar.

‘I….uh….no’

‘No, what?’

‘No, I’m not’

‘Really?' He stopped, thoughtful. ‘How many?’

‘How many what?’

‘How many people have you had sex with?’ Kreese spoke slowly, getting visibly impatient.

‘Uh….one…..three times. Same person. My..uh...ex-girlfriend.’

‘Interesting’. Kreese leaned back in his chair and took a pull on his cigar. He blew the smoke up at Johnny. The smell made Johnny’s throat feel like it was closing.

'Did you enjoy it?’

‘Um….yeah, I guess’

‘Did you cum?’

‘Why are you asking me this?’

‘Why do you have trouble answering my questions?’

‘It’s….uh...personal, you know’

‘You shy?’

‘No….I….’

‘Then answer my questions’. Kreese stood up and Johnny tensed. ‘I’m gonna ask you again. Did you cum?’

‘Uh….yeah’. Johnny wanted to leave. Maybe if he answered the questions he could go. He tried not to think about why Kreese was asking, what the man was thinking about.

Kreese got closer to him. ‘Do you jerk off?’

‘Sometimes, yeah’

‘How often?’

Johnny took a long, shaky breath before answering. ‘I don’t know. Couple of times a week.

‘And what do you think about as you jerk off?’

Johnny could feel tears in his eyes. ‘Please let me leave’ he said quietly.

‘What did you say?’

‘Please stop asking me these questions. I just want to leave’

‘Are those tears, Mr Lawrence? What are you getting so upset about? We are just talking’

‘I don’t want to answer these questions. Please let me go.’

Kreese grabbed hold of Johnny’s arm tightly, digging his nails in. ‘You’ll leave when I dismiss you’. Johnny tried to pull his arm away but felt the grip tighten. ‘You’ll leave when you answer.’ Kreese said, leaning in close. ‘I asked you a question’

‘I don’t know, girls at school, I have some magazines. What do you want me to say?’

_You want me to say dirty old men! Is that what you want?!_

‘Have you ever had someone jerk you off? Go down on you? Suck your dick?’

‘My ex once, I.…..’ He trailed off.

‘Hmmm….’ Kreese looked thoughtful, staring hard into Johnny’s eyes. Johnny felt like Kreese was looking into his soul and struggled to speak.

‘Can I please go now? Please…’

Kreese stared at him for a moment longer and then chuckled to himself. ‘Yes, you can go. Get out of here’ Kreese let go of Johnny’s arm and turned away, walking back behind his desk.

Johnny ran out of the room, ran out of the dojo, and carried on running until his legs ached. As he ran down busy streets, he heard people shouting as he barged past them, never looking back.

When he finally stopped, he found he was at a soccer park. He saw a picnic table and ran towards it, sitting on the tabletop. He pulled his knees to his chest and sobbed. He wrapped his arms around his legs and laid his forehead on his knees, crying uncontrollably. He cried harder than he had since he was a child, his shoulders shaking. He felt like he was hyperventilating, not being able to get his breath between sobs.

‘Johnny?’

Johnny stopped as someone said his name. He looked up from his arms and saw Daniel standing in front of him, soccer ball at his side.

‘Oh god….’

‘Johnny, are you alright?’

‘Do I look alright! Fuck off LaRusso. Leave me alone’

‘You're crying’ Daniel considered him for a moment. ‘Um…. are you still upset about Ali?’

Johnny laughed out loud. ‘No LaRusso, I am not crying over you and Ali. You would love that wouldn't you, but no. I wish that was all it was’ He rubbed his eyes, wiping the tears away and ran his hands through his hair and leaned his forehead against his knees.

Daniel came and sat on the bench next to Johnny’s feet. ‘Then what is it? It must be bad’

‘Yeah LaRusso, it’s fucking bad, OK’

‘You want to tell me’

‘Not especially’

Johnny and Daniel sat in silence for a few minutes. They almost seemed content in the silence.

Johnny had stopped crying but had a hitch in his throat that kept coming up. He concentrated on keeping it under control. Finally he broke the silence.

‘Sometimes I think of just putting everyone out of the misery, you know’

Daniel looked at him. ‘What do you mean’

‘Just ending it all. Maybe everyone would just be better off if I disappeared. Died or something. I don’t know.’

Daniel didn’t know how to respond to this confession. He has never heard anyone speak like that and didn't know what to say, especially not someone who he considered his number one enemy. Someone who he considered to be so strong, someone who he was usually so scared of.

He said quietly ‘You wouldn’t, would you?’

‘Probably not. Too much of a pussy’

Daniel tried to lighten the mood, not knowing how to handle the situation. ‘You can’t die. The girls in our school would be devastated. You really want to break all those young hearts’

Johnny smiled sadly ‘I suppose’

‘Is there anything I can do to help?’

‘No. I need to handle it’.

‘If you want to talk, you know, you could always call me’

‘You giving me your number, Danielle? You wanna go on a date sometime?’

‘You’re an arsehole’

Johnny laughed and got up, starting to walk away.

After a moment. ‘Hey Johnny’ Daniel ran up and gave him a piece of paper. ‘Honestly, if you ever feel the urge to walk into traffic or anything, call me first. Please’

Johnny looked at the paper in his hand and just nodded before walking away without looking back.

Daniel sat on the bench. Fuck, that was intense, he thought to himself as he watched the blond boy across the grass. What the hell was that about?

****************

Over the coming weeks Johnny thought back to what had happened in the office that day and it scared him. Kreese’s behaviour was getting worse. What would come next? Would he attack Johnny? Attempt to…..? Johnny couldn't bring himself to think about it.

Could he just quit? Could he just tell someone? Anyone. He has wanted to tell LaRusso so badly but was so frightened of the consequences.

What would people say? It would rip his world apart. And his friend’s world. Would they hate him? Blame him? Would they even believe him? What if Kreese said he was lying? It was the word of a troubled kid, one who had a history of pot and drinking, getting into fights, against the word of an adult.

What if he didn’t say anything and Kreese did it to someone else? Was he putting others in danger by staying silent? Was this happening to anyone else in the class?

No. I can handle it. If he tries anything else, I can defend myself, Johnny told himself. I’ll kick him in the balls if he comes near me again. The thought made him smile.

_You know he’s stronger than you. You’re kidding yourself if you think you can fight him._

****************

‘Ali, do you think Johnny is OK?’

What do you mean, Daniel?’

‘He seems off at the moment. You know him, or knew him’

Ali and Daniel were lying on the grass looking at the sky. Ali sat up and looked down at Daniel.

‘Why do you care? He’s an arsehole. Just ignore him’

‘I'm worried about him’ Daniel would have never told Ali the truth about what he has witnessed.

Ali sighed. ‘Let me tell you something about Johnny Lawrence. He’s a drama queen. Him and his fucked-up family. His mother’s a gold digger, everyone knows it but Johnny, he thinks she is a goddess. His stepfather is a bastard who treats them both like shit. Johnny is a walking car wreck. You get used to it. Maybe if he wasn’t such a dick, people might care. But he is, so they don’t. Can we drop it?’ She lays back down and puts her head on Daniel’s shoulder.

Daniel stared at the sky, shocked. He has never heard Ali speak like that about anyone, so harsh, so cold, so indifferent.

‘Well I worry, that’s all’ he said quietly.

****************

Weeks went by with no activity. Things went back to normal for Johnny. He started to become his old self and his friends decided that whatever was wrong with him must have passed. The only person who looked at him with concern with Daniel, and Johnny could disarm that with hostility.

Daniel looked at Johnny across the school parking lot. Johnny noticed he was watching him and scowled at him. Daniel has tried to talk to him once and Johnny responded by slamming him into the lockers. ‘Fuck off LaRusso!’.

Daniel never tried again but, despite Johnny’s behaviour, could never bring himself to tell anyone what he had seen that day in the park.

Johnny struggled at first, but he found a coping strategy. Every time he felt that familiar constricted feeling in his throat, the one that made him feel like he couldn’t breath, he took the small pen knife from his bag and held the blade against his skin. The pain seemed to calm him somewhat and brought his breathing back to normal, almost like for that moment it took his mind away from his problems.

Unlike the pot, it also kept his family off his back.

Johnny knew what he was doing wasn’t right, he knew that people would be shocked if they knew. He just needed to be good at hiding it, looking for new places where he knew no one would notice. The tops of his arm, his inside thigh. So long as he didn’t go too deep or leave too much of a scar, no one had to know. He wouldn’t do it forever, just until that feeling left him. Time heals all wounds. He just needed time.

****************

Thursday night practice. Kreese barely paid Johnny any attention anymore. Johnny stood at the back and was rarely called on. This suited Johnny fine. He looked at the other kids, all fighting for their Sensei’s attention. They can have it, he thought. See how they like being his ‘favourite’ he thought, unkindly.

****************

Three months had gone by since that day in the office. The day Daniel had found Johnny in the park. The summer wore on. It was hot and oppressive, and everyone was looking forward to the Autumn arriving.

It was so hot in the Cobra Kai dojo, everyone was sweating. Kreese has turned the air conditioning off in every room but his office. He told them it would make them tough. ‘You can’t always rely on the fight coming in a balmy, air conditioned room!’ He shouted as they worked through their exercises, moisture pouring from them.

Class ended. ‘Mr Lawrence, mat cleaning duty. Get started’.

Johnny’ stomach dropped.

‘But Sensei, my mum is expecting me home’ Johnny pleaded. ‘Can someone at least help me, stay with me’

‘Do you need a babysitter? Get started, the quicker you finish, the quicker you can leave’. Kreese turned and walked to his office, closing the door behind him.

‘Tough break’ Bobby said.

‘I had to do it last week. It’s Johnny’s turn. Now he’s not the golden child anymore, he has to learn how to clean mats like the rest of us’. Dutch laughed as they left him to it.

Johnny went to get the water and cloth. As everyone left, he kept his eye on the office door. The dojo was silent as he worked, always keeping a watch for movement from the office. He finished up the final mat and made his way back to the bathroom to empty the water. Still no sound.

He breathed a sigh of relief and went to the locker room to change out of his gi, now sodden with dirty water and sweat. The locker room was like a furnace.

As he removed his gi and reached for his jeans, he heard a sound that made his blood run cold, the door to the locker room opening behind him. He tried to grab his clothes but the man came behind him and held his arm.

‘You did a shit job on those mats’ Kreese breathed into his ear. ‘Maybe I should keep you behind more often’

A small moan of fear escaped Johnny’s throat as the other hand ran up the naked skin of his back.

‘Please don’t….’

‘Please don’t what? You think I am going to hurt you? Are you scared of me, Mr Lawrence?’

Johnny tried to turn but Kreese held the back of his neck. ‘Don’t move’. He pushed his hand down the back of Johnny’s underwear, grabbing flesh.

Every fiber of Johnny’s body was telling him to fight.

_What was the point of all those lessons if you can’t defend yourself!_

Johnny tensed up, his hands making fists. He tried to pull away, Kreese held a fist full of his blond hair.

‘You want to fight me, don’t you?’ Kreese laughed into his ear. ‘Go on then. See how that goes.’

‘Please, just stop. I won’t say anything’.

‘I’ve already said, I’m not going to hurt you’ Kreese let go of Johnny and stepped back. Johnny turned and looked at him.

‘Get on your knees’

Johnny looked at him shocked, in disbelief. ‘No way’

‘What was that?’

‘I said no! Don’t you dare touch me’

Kreese smiled. ‘I did always like the fight in you’

He stopped, seeming to consider something for a moment. And threw a punch, hitting Johnny full force in the face. Johnny didn’t see it coming, didn’t have a chance to block and fell backwards and to the floor.

Kreese stood over him. ‘Get up you fucking pussy! Get the fuck up off the floor’. Johnny was on all fours. Kreese kicked one of his arms out from under him, making him fall further. ‘Don’t make me tell you again. Get. Up!’

Johnny stood slowly, blood running his cheek. He was dizzy and staggered. He had nothing left in him.

Kreese pushed Johnny into the lockers. He grabbed Johnny's throat, squeezing hard. Johnny looked into his eyes, full of fear.

‘You shouldn’t fight me, Mr Lawrence.’ he breathed into his face before punching Johnny in the stomach.

****************

Johnny got home late that night. He had walked like a zombie across town, through bad neighbourhoods, down the side of busy roads, working girls calling out to him as he passed, sketchy gangs looking up at the blond rich kid with blood on his face. He got home after everyone was asleep, climbed the stairs and into bed. He crawled under his bed covers. He was numb, he couldn't cry anymore.

****************

Twenty-four hours later Johnny stood in his bathroom, naked, looking at himself in the mirror. He looked at his bruised cheek, bruises on his throat, on his torso. Finger imprints on his shoulders, on his wrists.

His life was over. He could never go back to the dojo, never step foot in there again. He couldn’t tell his friends what had been done to him. What he has been made to do. He was so ashamed. He covered his face with his hands. He had thrown up outside the dojo when he had finally been allowed to leave but the taste was still there.

He ran to the toilet, threw up again.

****************

Forty-eight hours after the attack and Johnny’s mind was full of dark thoughts. He sat on his bed, looking up at the beams across his ceiling.

_I wonder if they can take my weight._

(Of course they can. It would be so easy. You just need some bed sheets tied together. People do it all the time. You won’t feel anything)

Johnny thought about someone finding his body. His stepfather wouldn't care. He smiled at the thought of that cheap prick having to spring for a funeral. That would piss him off.

He thought about what he would write in his note. He could tell everyone everything. Say who had driven it to him. What he had done, that bastard.

Then he thought about his mother. About leaving her to Sid. She wouldn’t be able to cope. No, he couldn't do that to her.

He did the only thing he knew would make him feel better. He sat on the bed, looking down at the knife in his hands. He pushed the blade into his thigh, watching as blood started to pool. He closed his eyes and pushed further. Blood started to run down his leg, onto his foot and onto the carpet.

Shit, that’s a lot of blood. He cried out as he grabbed his bed sheet and tried to stop the bleeding.

(You’re pathetic. Can’t even kill yourself properly.)

Johnny didn’t want to die. He didn’t. He was scared he would do something he couldn't take back. Something final, something he would not have the opportunity to regret.

He moved towards his bedside table, blood trailing behind him. He knew he had it somewhere. He found the small piece of paper and reached for the phone.

It rang once, twice. Someone picked up.

‘Hello’

He didn’t know what to say

‘Hello? Is someone there’

‘Uh, hi. Is Daniel there?’ he said quietly.

‘Who's calling?

‘Can you tell him it’s….uh….a friend’

‘Does this friend have a name?’

‘It’s J….Johnny’

‘One second, let me see if I can find him’

Moments passed

‘Johnny?’

‘Uh…..hi…..I…..um’

‘Spit it out, Johnny’

‘I need help’ he managed to choke out before the tears started again.

****************

They met later that evening at the park. Johnny’s appearance shocked Daniel to the core. His face was swollen, he looked like he hadn’t washed for days, his hair was plastered to his forehead. He was deathly pale with dark circles under his eyes.

‘What happened to you?’

‘Someone…..he uh…..he hurt me….I don’t know what to do. I cut myself’

‘What do you mean you cut yourself?’

‘I was trying….I don’t know what I was trying to do’

‘Shit, Johnny. Have you told anyone?’

‘No! And you can’t either! You can’t tell anyone’

‘Let’s sit down. You need to tell me what happened’

Johnny and Daniel sat down, and Johnny told him the whole story from the start, what had happened the day they had met at the park, up to two days ago in the dojo. Daniel was silent the whole time.

‘After he hit me, I thought he was going to kill me. He had hold of my neck. I thought he was going to ra….’ Johnny stopped, couldn’t say the word. ‘He made me…..god…..I think I’m gonna be sick’

Johnny leaned over and threw up between his legs. He hadn’t eaten in days and there was nothing left, just bile that stung his throat.

‘He made me use my mouth on him’ he whispered, his head still between his legs.

‘You couldn’t stop him?’ Daniel asked, not quite believing what he was hearing.

‘I tried. I was so scared. I thought he was going to kill me. I thought if I just did what he said he would let me go’

‘Johnny, I don’t know what to do. What do you want me to do?’

Johnny sighed and got up ‘‘You can’t do anything. I’m going to go home’.

‘No, don’t leave. Please don’t leave’ Daniel noticed the dark patch on Johnny’s jeans. ‘You’re bleeding’

Johnny looked down. ‘Shit’

Daniel moved closer ‘Johnny, christ, you’re bleeding a lot. You need to get that looked at’

‘Fuck. Daniel, I’m scared. I think I’m gonna do something stupid to myself’

‘OK, don’t worry. I know where we can go. Someone we can see. I trust him, he can help’

****************

They pulled up in the driveway next to the old cars.

‘What is this place?’

‘You’re going to meet my Sensei’

‘Will he want to help me?’

‘He’ll help, I know he will’

They walked up the path and around the back to the garden.

‘Wow’ Johnny looked across the lawn.

‘I know, right’

A door opened at the sound of their voices.

‘Daniel-san, you brought a friend’ The small man walked towards Johnny and looked at him. He seemed to understand something wasn’t right and gestured. ‘Come’.

Johnny followed him. Something told him he could trust the man.

He glanced around him as he entered the house but focused back on Mr Miyagi. The man had filled a bowl of water and had a cloth.

‘Sit’

Johnny sat down on the small stall and Mr Miyagi started to clean the cut on his cheek.

‘Someone hit you?’

‘Yeah, someone hit me’

‘Strike first?’ he said with a smile.

‘Something like that’ Johnny muttered.

‘He has a cut on his leg’ Daniel piped up behind them.

‘You take pants off’

‘No, I can’t’ Johnny stood up quickly.

‘Johnny, he needs to look at it. Trust him’

Johnny sighed and sat down, unbuttoning his jeans, pushing them to his knees.

Daniel sucked in some air as he saw the blood on Johnny’s legs. Saw the older scars on his thighs. Saw the bruises on his skin.

Mr Miyagi looked up at Johnny, staring into his eyes, as if considering him. He cleaned the cut and looked at it.

‘Need stitches’ He walked away and came back with a thin, curved needle and thread.

He used a lighter to burn the needle, sterilizing it and threaded it. Johnny gripped the table as he started to stitch the wound, knuckles turning white as he tried not to cry out.

‘Done’ Mr Miyagi cleaned it again with the cloth. He looked up at Johnny. He seemed to understand. ‘You don’t do this again.’ It wasn’t a question, not quite an order, more like a statement.

Johnny looked into his eyes. ‘No, sir. I won’t do it again’ he said quietly

He patted Johnny’s uninjured leg affectionately and turned to put the needle down.

Johnny suddenly felt very tired and wanted to sleep. Mr Miyagi seemed to read his mind and pointed to the small bed. Johnny nodded and climbed into it, soon off to sleep.

****************

‘You’re friend in trouble’ Another statement.

Daniel and his Sensei sat in the garden drinking tea as Johnny slept.

‘He is. I don’t know how to help him’

‘Someone hurt him’

‘His Sensei’

Mr Miyagi looked grim. ‘Bad teacher a very dangerous thing. Has a lot of power’

Daniel just nodded.

****************

Johnny woke, looking up at the wooden ceiling above him, wondering where he was. He rolled onto his side and looked about. He was on a small bed with a ceramic glass of water sitting on the low table next to him. He then remembered the night before. Mr Miyagi sewing his leg up and crawling into bed, emotionally and physically exhausted.

It was light outside, and he looked at his digital watch that was sitting next to the water. It was evening. He had been asleep for almost twenty-four hours.

He swung his legs over the bed and stood up. His clothes were neatly folded next to him and as he pulled them on, he noticed they had been washed. He didn’t even remember taking them off.

He started to look around, noticing a mixture of traditional furniture and art and odd items and mechanical parts that looked like they were in the middle of being fixed.

He heard a sound behind him.

‘Ah, awake. Finally,’

He turned and saw the small man holding a tray of teacups. ‘Uh, hi. Thanks for letting me sleep here. Sorry for taking the bed’

‘No problem, no problem. You needed’

‘Where is Daniel?’

‘Daniel-san gone last night. Needed to get back to his mother. Let you sleep’

‘Right’ Johnny sat back down on the bed and was handed a cup.

‘Drink, then you use shower’

He took the cup and drank a sip of the tea. It was warm and sweet. It tasted comforting, even on the warm day.

‘Thank you’

Johnny and Mr Miyagi sat in silence drinking their tea. Johnny didn’t know what to say. The man broke the silence.

‘What you plan to do?’

‘I don’t know’ Johnny ran his hand through his hair.

‘Someone hurt you. You need to tell’

‘Nah, I’ll just keep away. He won’t be able to do it again if I don’t see him’

‘He hurt someone else?’

‘I don’t know. I can’t deal with that right now. Can’t think about it’

He took the empty teacup from Johnny. ‘You do the right thing’

Johnny looked up at him as he walked away, into the small kitchen. Johnny made his way to the bathroom, glad to finally wash some of the last few days off of him.

****************

Two days later at school Daniel looked over at the group of boys sitting on their motorbikes, their blond leader still absent. One of the boys noticed Daniel watching them and raised his eyebrows quizzically. Daniel desperately wanted to go over there and talk.

Later that day in the bathrooms the two boys met. Daniel and Bobby looked at each other.

‘Well, spit it out LaRusso. You have been looking at me all day. What do you want to talk about?’

‘I know where Johnny is’

‘Shit! You do? We have been so worried. His Mum has called everyone’

‘He’s in trouble. He asked me not to tell anyone, but I think you can help him.’

‘What kind of trouble?’

‘Bad. I don’t know what he is going to do’

Bobby looked at him suspiciously. ‘Why you?’

‘I found him one day. He was in a bad way. He came to me. He’s staying with my Sensei’

‘You’re Sensei? Why would he be there’

‘It’s a long story. Come with me after school, to see him. I am not sure how he will react but it’s worth a shot’

‘Yeah, I’ll come with you’ Bobby started to walk away. Daniel held his arm.

‘I mean it, man. It’s bad. I just want to warn you. This is going to impact you all’

Bobby looked at Daniel, seeing fear on his face, suddenly afraid of what he was going to find after school.

****************

Johnny sat on the porch, feet bare, looking across the garden. He was nervous and fidgety and couldn't sit still. Mr Miyagi saw him, looked at his knee jogging up and down.

‘You anxious. Need to relax. Come’

Johnny followed him to the grass. ‘Watch me’

He started to take him through some basic kata moves, telling him when to breath. Johnny started to loosen up quickly, mirroring his moves, and within a few minutes his mind started to feel free for the first time in months.

Mr Miyagi was impressed with the young man’s ability and started to increase the complexity, challenging him. The boy continues to mirror him, building up a sweat in the hot garden. Mr Miyagi recognised the natural talent, seeing his features soften as his mind cleared.

Eventually, they stop and bow to each other. Johnny’s heart is beating fast but he's relaxed and happy. He remembered why he took up the art in the first place, before Kreese, ‘Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy’ and the events of the past months.

‘Talented’ Mr Miyagi says to him as he hands him some water.

‘Thank you’

‘Better than Daniel-San’ the man says with a sly smile.

Johnny laughs.

****************

That evening Johnny sat in the garden thinking about his future. He couldn’t stay here forever. He hadn’t even told his mother or his friends where he was. He wondered if they even cared, if they had even noticed he was gone.

He was seriously considering asking Mr Miyagi to become his Sensei. Today had made him realise how much he loved karate and desperately didn’t want to give it up. What he had done was so different than what he has spent the last six years learning. No pressure, no requirements to show ‘no mercy’, to punch and kick at people who were already on their knees. He started to feel sad for the person he had spent the last few years becoming, who Kreese had turned him into.

He looked up as he heard voices. ‘What is this place, Daniel? Where the hell are you taking me?’. He recognised the voice and jumped to his feet.

Daniel walked into the garden with Bobby trailing behind him, looking around at the garden. He looked up and saw his friend.

‘Johnny! You’re alive! Jesus! Everyone is going mad. Your Mum is frantic’ He looked around. ‘What are you doing here?’ He looked at Johnny. ‘What happened to your face?’

Johnny ignored his friend, looked at Daniel. ‘Why did you bring him here?’ Johnny was angry. ‘What did you tell him?’

‘He hasn’t told me anything. Hey man, what’s going on?’

Daniel spoke ‘You need to talk to someone, Johnny. Bobby is worried about you. You can’t stay here forever’

‘Ah guests’ Mr Miyagi stepped out of the house. ‘Come in, I make tea’

Bobby looked confused as he followed them into the house. ‘Johnny, you’ve been staying here?’

‘Just while I get my shit together’

‘Johnny, what's going on? This is all so fucking weird. Why are you here? What’s happened to you?’

They all sat in the small room as a tea was passed around. Johnny looked at his drink. He signed and looked up. ‘OK, I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you everything. But please…..you have got to believe me….. that I’m not lying. If you call me a liar, I don’t know what I will do. I promise I am not lying’

‘I believe you, Johnny. Just tell me’

‘Let’s go outside’ Johnny got up and walked outside. Bobby followed him and they walked across the garden, sitting against a fence in the corner, under a tree.

Daniel watched from the doorway and Mr Miyagi came up behind him. ‘You did good. Bringing his friend. He needs friends’

‘I hope I did the right thing’

There was a moment where they watched the boys under the tree.

‘He better at karate than you’ he said with a smile, breaking the silence.

‘What?’ Daniel turned to his Sensei, who laughed.

****************

Johnny spoke for a long time. Johnny told him everything that had happened, giving him details that he had left out even when speaking to Daniel. Told him about cutting himself to cope, about the suicidal thoughts, how close he had come that night in his room. About what Kreese had done to him.

Bobby listened, asking questions at the right moment but never questioning Johnny’s version of events.

‘Shit’

‘Yeah, shit’ Johnny responded.

‘What do you want to do?’

‘I think I want to tell someone, someone who can do something about it’ Johnny paused.

‘I hope they arrest that bastard’

‘I don’t know what they will do. At least if I say something I can start to move forward. I am not sure how to tell my Mum. I am not sure she can handle it’

‘We can tell my parents. They will help’

‘You think they will?’

‘They love you. They’ll help’

‘OK’

‘Tonight. You can stay with me'

‘Thanks buddy’.

They both got up and hugged. They started to walk towards the house and Daniel and Mr Miyagi.

‘I’m going with Bobby. I am going to tell his parents. See where it goes’

‘I’m glad’

Johnny looked at Daniel. ‘Thanks Daniel. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there’

Daniel looked at his feet, embarrassed. ‘What was I gonna do…..you would have done the same thing’

‘You know, I am not sure I would have’ Johnny looked at Mr Miyagi and stepped forward to hug the man. ‘Thank you for everything’

‘You come back? Practice?’

‘I would love to’

The man nodded and the boys walked away, Bobby with his arm over Johnny’s shoulders.


	2. Chapter 2

**2018**

Johnny sat at his desk, looking at the trophy. The tournament was all he had thought about for weeks, had put his heart and soul into it and watched his students become stronger. So why now did it feel so empty, feel like this was such a mistake. Johnny sighed and drank another sip of his beer. He put his elbows on the desk, held his head in his hands.

Johnny heard the bell. He looked up, running his hands through his hair. He was glad, he wanted to talk to Miguel. Johnny knew that Miguel may not like what he was going to say, that Miguel would want to celebrate. But Johnny also knew that if he didn’t say something, his student would take a dark path. Johnny knew where that path led.

He got up and stepped out of the office. That was when he smelt it. The smell of that cigar. Then he saw a man he believed he would never see again. A man Johnny had long thought dead.

Kreese stepped into the light, looked at Johnny. He was older but to Johnny he hadn’t changed a day. The same hard, black eyes started at him. The same eyes that he remembered from his childhood, that had stared at Johnny from across a courtroom. The same eyes that had looked at Johnny with triumph the day he had walked out a free man.

Kreese walked towards Johnny. ‘It’s been a long time, Mr Lawrence’

Johnny swallowed hard. Tried to speak. He opened his mouth, closed it again. He couldn’t breathe, the lump in his throat choking his words.

Kreese watched him. ‘Why so quiet? I bet you have been thinking about this day for years’ he said, mocking. ‘All those things you wanted to do, to say to me’ 

‘I thought you were dead,’ Johnny said, voice low.

‘So did a lot of people, kid. But here I am’ he replied. Kreese stepped closer. Johnny tensed. Kreese smiled at him, enjoying the moment. 

‘Why are you here?’ Johnny asked, fighting his fight or flight instinct. He wanted to run and not look back, also wanted to beat the man in front of him to death with his bare hands. He fought both urges.

‘I’ve come for what’s mine. Cobra Kai’ Kreese moved closer and Johnny stepped back. Kreese’s smile widened. He enjoyed seeing Johnny’s reaction, seeing him retreat.

Johnny saw the man smile and steeled his resolve, ‘It’s not yours anymore. This is my dojo’ Johnny said definitely. 

‘Oh, but it isn’t. I own Cobra Kai. It’s mine’. Kreese moved forward again. He was close to Johnny now, not breaking eye contact. ‘I’ve come to take it back’

Johnny clenched his fists at his sides, feeling his nail dig into his palms. ‘Get out’. He was older now and could defend himself. He wasn’t going to back down. 

Kreese’s eyes flickered up and down Johnny. ‘You remember what happened the last time you tried to fight me?’ He smiled. ‘I always was stronger than you’

Johnny’s stomach lurched with the memory of it. Johnny took a breath, steadying himself

‘I’m not a child anymore’ Johnny said, trying to keep the tremble in his voice at bay.

‘Oh, Johnny. You were never a child to me’ Kreese smiled, reached up, touched Johnny’s hair. Johnny flinched violently away from him. ‘You’re still as handsome as I remember you. I've thought about you many times over the years' He reached up, touched Johnny's face. 

Johnny jumped back like he had been burnt, took another step back, tried to create as much space between them. He didn’t care if Kreese saw him retreat, saw him run. He just needed to get away. 

Kreese laughed. Kreese was laughing at him! Anger flashed through Johnny. ‘Got out. Leave’ Johnny said. ‘If you come here again, I swear I’ll kill you’. As he said it, Johnny knew that he was telling the truth, knew that he could kill his former teacher and damn the consequences.

‘I’m going. But I will be back. This is my dojo. These are my students’. He turned and started towards the door. He turned back to Johnny, dropping his cigar on the floor, and crushing it under his heel. ‘I beat you once. You can’t fight me, Mr Lawrence, remember that’. The door closed behind him. 

Johnny stepped back again, hitting the wall. He slid down it, sat on the floor. He put his hands up to his face, dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. A sob came up in his throat. He took his hands away, look down.

Johnny stared at his arms, the old, faded scars. They suddenly seemed like new; red and raw. He remembered that day, after the court case, after they had let his abuser walk free, called him a liar. Johnny had laid in the bath and sliced his arms open, wanting to die. He had been found just in time. He had been kept in hospital after that; a danger to himself, they had told Johnny’s mother.

Johnny had spent years getting over it. And not getting over it. Multiple therapists. Drugs, alcohol, sex. He had tried everything over the years, and it had always gnawed at him in the back of his mind. A therapist had once told him that someone who was inclined to cut themselves was always at risk of going back to it. That it had to be treated like an addiction. Johnny had never believed them until today. As he looked down at his arms, he felt that familiar craving for release. A craving he hadn’t experienced in years.

Johnny went to what he now used to cope with the memories. He pulled himself to his feet, walked over to his office and took out the bottle of scotch from his filing cabinet draw. He drank a large mouthful. Drank another. And then a third. Only then did his hands stop shaking.

He picked up his phone. Johnny looked down at it, flipping it open and scrolling through his contacts. Could he call him? Daniel had pulled him back from the edge once, all those years ago. Things had changed since then. They hadn't spoken about it since and the past year hadn’t helped. Johnny wasn’t sure if Daniel regretted what he did but it was as if they had made a silent promise to pretend never to speak of it. But Johnny always knew that Daniel had saved him that summer.

The phone rang. ‘Johnny’ Daniel said when he picked up. ‘What do you want? Haven't you caused enough trouble’

‘I... uh…’ Johnny started. He didn’t know what to say.

‘It shouldn't be me you’re calling. It should be your son. You know, you can be a rotten son of a bitch, letting today go down like it did’ Daniel was angry, letting it all out. ‘I hope you are proud of yourself’

‘Daniel…. I’ Johnny tried. 

‘What? Why are you even calling? Don’t you have celebrating to do? Daniel sneered.

‘Daniel, he’s back’ Johnny finally whispered

‘Who’s back? Speak up, Johnny. What the hell are you talking about’

‘He’s back. Kreese. He’s back’ Johnny finally said.

Daniel stopped, looked at his phone. ‘No, he’s dead. You’re drunk, Johnny’. Daniel replied. His voice had a hopeful edge to it.

‘He’s back, man. Here, in the dojo. He was here, Daniel. I can still smell his fucking cigar’ Johnny breathing was getting faster, he felt like he was hyperventilating. He put his hand to his face, still feeling Kreese's touch. Johnny felt like he had been branded.

Daniel stammered. ‘I... I can’t, Johnny. I can’t help you’. 

Daniel stepped back, hit his kitchen table. He remembered that summer. The arguments with his mother, her tears as she begged him not to get involved. And then the guilt. The memory of that day, sitting at home, staring at the clock in the kitchen, knowing that he was supposed to be in court. Amanda never knew what he had done, how he had let Johnny down. Daniel had never told anyone. He had lived with guilt for over 30 years.

‘Please Daniel. I don’t know what to do’ Johnny was sitting on the floor in his office. 

‘I’m sorry, Johnny. I can’t. Don’t call me again’ Daniel hung up the phone. He turned and threw the phone down on the table as if it was a poisonous spider.

Amanda walked into the kitchen, looked at her husband's white face. He looked like he had seen a ghost. ‘Babe, what’s the matter?’ She put her hand on his arm and he flinched, pulling away. ‘What is it?’

‘Oh nothing. Just a weird call. Nothing to worry about’ Daniel turned to his wife. She looked into his eyes; knew he was lying but didn’t push it. ‘I think I need a drink’ Daniel announced. He stepped around his wife and went towards their wine rack. A big drink, he thought.

************************

Johnny woke the next morning on his apartment floor. He had spent the evening drinking until he had passed out. He didn’t even remember how he got home. The remains of the night were around him, bottles, and beer cans. He got to his feet, shaking, and made his way to the kitchen. He turned on the tap and drank straight from it. He staggered slowly to the bedroom. Johnny crawled onto his bed and pulled the duvet over him. 

Johnny thought back to that summer. He remembered thinking that the hardest part was talking about it. He had told Bobby’s parents, who had immediately called the police and Johnny’s mother. He remembered his mother's tears as she sat with him as he recounted everything to the police officers. 

The police had him retell his story over and over. Inconsistencies and timelines gone over, endless questions asked, notes taken. The humiliation of being made to tell strangers what someone had done to his body, how he has been touched and where, how it had felt, every minute detail put under a microscope. He had thought that would be the hardest part.

And then the court case. Kreese was arrested. He claimed that he had been set up, that Johnny had been upset about no longer being the favourite student. That Johnny had wanted revenge. That he was spoilt and a brat. Kreese's lawyers had said that Johnny took drugs, got into fights, was known for it. They said he was a liar; he was screwed up in the head. They knew that he had been self-harming, Johnny never knew how they found out, but they used it and said that he was unhinged. There were no witnesses, no evidence, just some bruises that they attributed to the fights he was always in. His mother had listened as they said those things about him. They said that he had been obsessed with his Sensei. That he was promiscuous, a whore, a boy who slept with grown men. They threw everything at him, ripped him to shreds, and won. Kreese went back to his business, teaching kids karate, with a clean rap sheet. Just a victim of a child's cruel lies.

First the suicide attempt and then, when he was finally released from hospital, Johnny’s life had never been the same.

The paper had gotten hold of the story. His name was never written down, but the details were there. Anyone who knew the family knew who the papers were writing about. There was enough information to provide no real anonymity. The papers had not sided with Johnny and once Kreese had been found innocent their venom towards his accuser had intensified.

Johnny’s mother had stopped looking her son in the eyes. She was humiliated. He was a liar; wasn’t right in the head. She wasn’t welcome at the country club anymore, having been quietly told by the management that they would not support the renewal of her membership. Things with Sid went from bad to worse, Sid’s fury with his stepson turning violent. Eventually Johnny left home one night and never went back. He’d spent time on the streets, drinking, drugs, until he could get no lower and had finally started to attempt to pull his life back together. 

Therapy had helped with the self-harm and the drugs. The suicidal thoughts. But Johnny had kept the alcohol. As far as he was concerned that was his and no shrink was going to take it away. Johnny knew deep down that he was an alcoholic, but it was better than the alternative.

Johnny stared at the ceiling. Kreese was back. He wanted the dojo. Johnny thought about his students. These kids who, for the first time in years, had made him feel like he had something to get out of bed for, made him feel like he mattered in the world. The thought of Kreese getting anywhere near them made Johnny’s blood boil. It made him so angry that he really believed that he would kill someone before he let it happen.

Johnny got up and swung his legs over the bed. He wasn’t a scared, screwed up kid anymore. He had a responsibility to his students and Kreese was a real threat to them. Johnny knew he had to fight back, and he needed help. 

Daniel had told Johnny not to call him, so Johnny was going to go speak to him face to face. He would beg for help if he had to.

*********************

Daniel was also in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about that same summer. He remembered Johnny reaching out to him that day when they had met in the park. Daniel had had no idea how to handle it back then. He didn't even know that this was something that could happen. 

Everyone had always told the girls to be careful, that some men could look to hurt them. Girls would be told to watch what they wore, who they were alone with, where they walked. It had never even occurred to Daniel that something like that could happen to a guy. Back then he’d felt safe in the belief that predatory men was something he never had to concern himself with. Looking back, Daniel realised what a stupid, naive kid he had been. 

When Johnny had told him that day, Daniel had known it was true, had never doubted it for a second. Daniel had seen the trauma on Johnny’s face. There was no way he could have faked that. Daniel had been asked by the police for a statement. Not long after the Attorney's office had approached him. They wanted him to act as a witness, to tell a room full of people what he had seen. And he had been willing to do it. Then his mother had gotten involved.

His mother was a proud woman and when she had found out what her son had become involved in, she wanted no part of it. It was disgusting, she said. She didn’t want her family to become associated with perverts, as she put it. They had fought for weeks over it, she had cried, said that Daniel was going to ruin his life if he got involved. And eventually she had gotten her way.

Daniel had sought his Sensei for advice. Mr Miyagi was always sure that Daniel would do the right thing. And when he had found that Daniel didn’t turn up to court that day, Daniel knew that he was disappointed. Mr Miyagi left for Okinawa alone not long after. Daniel had hoped to be invited but it had never materialised, and he had spent a long summer alone, tending to their bonsai trees.

Daniel had always thought back to that day, his court date. The guilt followed him around for years. He hadn’t seen Johnny after the day he left Mr Mayagi’s house with Bobby. He had heard what happened in court, and afterwards. Words of Johnny institutionalisation had made its way to Daniel and then Johnny had dropped off the grid. Daniel didn’t see him again until that day in the dealership. It had felt like such a stupid small gesture, fixing a car, but it was all Daniel could offer. It just seemed all too late.

Daniel pulled the duvet back and climbed out of bed. He made his way to the bathroom and got ready for the day. 

He went to his kitchen; made himself a coffee. Daniel turned, drinking from the small espresso cup. He looked out of the window and spit his coffee out in surprise. Johnny. He was standing where he had the day his car had been torched. That day he had been looking for a fight. Today he didn’t look like he wanted to fight, he looked tired and fragile.

Daniel put his coffee down and went out onto the patio. ‘What do you want, Johnny?’

‘I want to talk to you. You’re not ignoring me’ Johnny said stubbornly. ‘I want to talk and you're going to listen’

Daniel sighed. ‘OK, Johnny. Let’s talk’. He walked outside and towards his dojo, Johnny behind him. Daniel walked in, sat on the bench. 

Johnny started to look around, looking at the photos and the trophies. Johnny stopped at the photo of Mr Miyagi. He took it off the wall and walked towards Daniel.

‘You know, I was at his funeral,’ Johnny said.

Daniel looked at him, surprised. ‘You were? I didn’t see you’

‘I didn’t stay long. Didn’t really want to speak to anyone’ Johnny put the photo on the bench. ‘He was a good man’ 

‘He was’ Daniel said sadly.

Johnny bent over, put his elbows to his knees, his head in his hands. He didn't know where to start. 

'I didn't imagine it. He was here' Johnny finally said.

'I believe you, Johnny'

Johnny sighed. 'You know everyone thought I was lying back then. They said I was mad' Johnny laughed bitterly. 'Maybe I was a little mad. They locked me up in a fucking hospital. Said I was a danger to myself' Johnny looked down at his arms. ‘They weren’t wrong’

Daniel looked down at the scars. Long vicious scars from Johnny's wrists up his forearms. Daniel winced at the sight of them. They were not the scars of a cry for help. The person who did these knew exactly the outcome they had wanted. 

'Johnny, I'm so sorry about what happened back then. What you did, it was so brave, and I was a coward. I don't know what to say'.

Johnny didn’t look at him, kept his eyes to the floor. 'It's OK. It was a long time ago'

'I have thought about it and I want to speak to the police again. I could tell them that what you said was true. I could do something. Maybe they can reopen the case, you know, if he is back'

'It doesn't matter, Daniel. Any statute of limitations have passed. Ten years is all you get in these kinds of cases. He's scot free now' 

'I'm sorry, Johnny' 

'It's OK’ Johnny took a deep breath, let it out. He paused, choosing his words. Johnny finally spoke. 'You know it happened again, with another guy'. 

'What do you mean?' Daniel asked.

'I was living on the streets. Some guy attacked me. I didn't know who it was. I was too drunk, too stoned to stop him. He…that guy….it was bad…' Johnny stopped, tensing his jaw. 'I thought it was something about me, you know. It ate me up for a long time. Now I know that it's just bad fucking luck'. He sighed. ‘It happens to a lot to kids on the streets’

'Oh Johnny. I'm so sorry' Daniel's voice cracked, tears in his eyes.

‘It doesn't matter. It was a long time ago’ Johnny looked over at Daniel. 'Don't you fucking cry, LaRusso. If I'm not crying, you're not either’.

Daniel nodded, wiping his eyes. 

Johnny continued. ‘I think that’s why I fucked things up so much with Robby. I was so scared that I would bring some of that into my relationship with him’

Daniel was shocked. ‘You didn’t think that you would….?’ He asked.

Johnny shook his head. ‘I don’t know. I kept on hearing about abused people become abusers. I was so fucking scared that I would hurt him. I used to get so angry with Robby when he was a kid. I would never have hurt him, but I wasn’t nice to be around back then. No wonder he hates me’ Johnny said sadly.

Daniel looked at Johnny. ‘You know, I never asked Robby why he hated you so much?’

Johnny looked round at Daniel. ‘What do you mean?’

‘At the tournament Robby said he hated you. I never asked him why. I just kind of accepted it’

‘Like you hated me, so why would my son not hate me?’ Johnny asked with a teasing smile.

‘I never hated you, Johnny’

Johnny smiled. ‘Liar’

‘OK, wise-ass. So where do we go from here?’ Daniel asked.

Johnny stood up. He turned to Daniel. 'Kreese is not getting near those kids. I'll kill him first' Johnny said, hands clenched at his sides. 

'OK, so what's the plan?'

Johnny smiled tensely. 'I don't know. I have only got as far killing him. I haven't come up with anything else'

'We'll figure something out. Do you want to stay for breakfast' Daniel asked.

'You sure that will be OK with the family?’

'Of course. I'll speak to Amanda’ Daniel got up, leaving Johnny alone. 

Johnny sat down and stared down at his arms. He ran his thumb up and down his scars. He thought about his life. All the wasted years. Johnny got up. He wasn't going to waste any more years. He picked up the photo of Mr Miyagi and looked at it one more time before placing it back on the wall.

Daniel returned. 'Amanda is setting another table place for you' 

'Thanks, LaRusso. I appreciate it'

********************

After breakfast Daniel and Johnny sat in Daniel’s garden, drinking coffee. Johnny felt better; stronger with food in him. His head felt clearer and he was ready to talk strategy. Johnny was hardly thinking about his business anymore. This wasn’t about the dojo, this was about protecting the kids, his students. They trusted him and he had put them in the sights of that man.

‘So, Daniel, any thoughts about what we do about this? What are our options here? Do I need to get a lawyer?’ Johnny finally asked after a period of silence.

Daniel looked over at Johnny. ‘I do have one thought. But I don’t know how you will feel about it’

‘I’m all ears. I’ll take any suggestion’

Daniel paused. ‘You talk’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You talk about what happened. Tell people what he did to you’ Daniel braced himself for an angry response. 

Johnny wasn’t angry, he just sighed. ‘I told you. No one can do anything. Ten years, that’s what I heard. Kreese could walk into a police station and confess everything and they couldn’t press charges. It’s fucked up’

‘So, the police can’t do anything, but reputation is important. You can talk about it. People listen to that stuff nowadays. It’s not like when we were kids. You tell people what happened, how their lawyers used all that shit against you, people will be sympathetic’. Daniel was talking fast. ‘You start telling anyone who will listen. People will believe you’

Johnny shook his head, looking at the ground. 'No. No way. Not again. I tried that and it made things worse’ He clenched his hands into fists. ‘No one wants to hear about it. They pretend they do; it makes them feel better to pretend they care, but this shit just fucks things up’ Johnny turned to Daniel. ‘No, not again’ he said vehemently.

‘OK, Johnny’ Daniel conceded.

Johnny stood up. ‘Look, thanks for breakfast but I’m going home. I need a fucking drink’ He started towards the door.

Daniel walked after him. ‘Are you gonna be OK, Johnny?’ 

Johnny turned and smiled sadly at him. ‘Sure. But if I plan to walk into traffic, I promise I’ll call you first, OK’

Daniel just nodded and watched Johnny leave. 

********************

Johnny stood on the steps of the porch, looked up at the house. He took a deep breath and rang the bell. A few moments later a woman answered. ‘Johnny, it’s good to see you. Come in.’

She led him across a hall and into an office. The women went to a large armchair and sat down. Johnny followed, sat on the sofa opposite without needing an invitation.

She picked up a file from her desk and opened it across her lap. She put on her glasses and started to read. Johnny watched her. Eventually she looked up.

‘I’m glad you came back. It’s been over four years since we spoke. How have you been?’ she asked, taking her glasses off, placing them on the desk.

Johnny shrugged. ‘Not bad’

She watched him for a moment. Johnny looked at his hands, sat back on the sofa.

‘What made you stop coming? You missed our appointment and I didn’t see you again’.

Johnny looked up at her. ‘I… uh…. I fell off the wagon. Went through a rough patch’

‘You know that even if you hit a rough patch you can still attend. There’s no judgement here. How have things been recently? Are you still drinking?’

‘Yeah, a bit’ he confessed.

‘Drugs?’

‘No, no drugs’

‘We’ve also spoken in the past about your sex life. You were taking risks’

‘No doc, I’ve been living like a nun’ Johnny smiled. The doctor didn't smile back, and his smile disappeared. ‘No, nothing like that. I just got a bit fucked up back then, started drinking too much’

‘Do you drink too much now?’ she asked

‘Probably’ he went quiet. 

Johnny started to look at his nails. He was never good at this stuff, hadn’t wanted to come back but knew that it did him good. Doctor Stone was the only therapist he had ever stuck with. She didn’t do any of that new age shit, didn’t try and hypnotise him, recommend meditation. She was honest when he was fucking up and asked him tough questions, Johnny admired that. And she was never shocked by anything he told her. Trying to shock therapists had become a bit of a game for Johnny when he was younger but no matter what he said, she just listened. None of this made it easier to open up, it was always difficult territory for him. But he knew he needed as much strength as possible to deal with Kreese and these sessions had always made him feel better, lighter somehow. 

She changed the subject. ‘So, tell me about work. Are you working?’

‘Yeah. I opened a business’ he said with enthusiasm. ‘It’s going well’

‘I’m glad to hear that, Johnny. What are you doing?’

He hesitated. ‘I started teaching karate. I’m pretty good at it. Got quite a few students. My student recently won a tournament. It’s been good for me. I’ve been happy for the first time in a while’

‘That is great to hear, Johnny’

He confessed. ‘It’s called Cobra Kai’

The doctor looked at him. Picked up her notebook. Johnny sighed. He knew that was a sign that he had said something she wanted to discuss.

‘I know what you are going to say, OK’ 

‘What am I going to say?’ she asked, smiling.

‘You are going to ask about me reopening Cobra Kai’

‘Well then, answer the question you think I want to ask’

‘I don’t know. I was good at it. There was this kid getting picked on and karate was the only thing I was ever good at’ Johnny smiled. ‘I was…… I wanted to do something I knew I would be good at; knew I wouldn’t fuck up. And it's good. The kids are great. Cobra Kai was such a big part of my life. I wanted some of that back, before all the bullshit.’ He was talking fast, trying to convince himself as much as his doctor.

‘Why Cobra Kai?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know. It felt right. Maybe I wanted to exercise some demons. Show that I was bigger than it. I don’t know. Maybe I thought I could take control of my past’

She looked thoughtful. ‘Hmmm, OK. I can understand that. So, what made you come back? You haven’t made an appointment for years. Why now?’

‘You know I wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t a reason’ She just smiled in response. ‘He came to see me’

‘Who came to see you?’

‘Kreese’ 

If she was shocked, she didn’t show it. Doctor Stone had years of experience looking impassive, despite what she was thinking inside. ‘You told me he was dead. We spoke at length about it.’

‘Well, he isn’t. I thought he was, and he isn’t. He showed up at Cobra Kai. He….’ Johnny stopped, started to chew a nail.

‘Did you speak to him?’ she asked.

Johnny was still chewing his nail as he spoke, a nervous habit he picked up when he was a teenager. ‘Yeah, we spoke’

‘What did you speak about?’

‘He wants his dojo back. He…. he spoke about what happened, what he did. Pretty much fucking gloated about it. Told me….’ Johnny stopped chewing and took a deep breath, let it out. ‘Told me that he…….’ Johnny took another breath, this one shook as he let it out.

‘Don’t rush’

Johnny breathed again, trying to get his emotions in check. He could feel that familiar lump in his throat, choking his words. ‘He said that he had beaten me before and he could do it again. He said that I was…. that he had been thinking about me' Johnny spoke fast, getting it out, felt bile in the back of his throat.

The doctor just nodded at him, wrote something down, letting Johnny talk.

‘He said that he wants the dojo back, wants those students. My kids. I don’t know what to do. I can’t let him near them’ 

‘Do you think he might hurt them?’

‘Of course, I fucking do! He’s evil. He’s……’ Johnny signed. ‘What do I do, Doc? I know what he is capable of but as far as anyone else is concerned, it’s me who’s the nutter. His record is clear. What do I do? I need your help. Who do I talk to about this? I can’t go to the police. Do I go see a lawyer?’

‘If you think he is a risk to children, you need to tell the police’ she said

‘I don’t think, I know he is fucking risk to children. He…. Fuck!’ Johnny stopped. ‘Last time I told them they didn’t want to know’ he said quietly. ‘I would have been better off if I had never said anything. I should have just dealt with it, gotten over it, got my shit together and moved on. But people say you need to talk about it, but fuck that. No one wants to know really’ Johnny was getting angry. ‘If he’d killed me people would have given a shit, but he didn’t. He just ruined my life’

Dr Stone leant forward, said gently. ‘Johnny, no one can ruin your life. Only you have control over your life. You can’t change what happened, but you can control how you handle it. You’re here, which is good. The drinking isn’t good but if you are running a business you have been handling it and that is. This person is back in your life and we need to decide how you can control that, so it doesn't send you back into a spiral’

Johnny breathed. ‘OK, Doc. That sounds good’

‘I can’t tell you what you need to do about your business. But I can give you the tools you need to protect yourself’

Johnny nodded. 

‘Then let’s focus there’ she said, sitting back in her chair.

***************************

An hour later someone looked on as Johnny left the building. Cigar smoked spiralling in the light breeze as Johnny got into his car and drove away, not noticing the man watching him.

Kreese threw his cigar end to the floor and walked towards the building. He looked at the gold sign on the gate. _Dr Stone MD: Psychiatrist_. He smiled. ‘Oh, Johnny’ he muttered to himself. ‘A shrink? You always were so weak.’

He walked up the front steps and looked around him. The street was empty and silent, nothing but the sound of the wind in the neighbourhood trees. 

Kreese rang the front bell. A few moments later the door was opened.

‘Can I help you? Do you have an appointment?’ the woman asked.

He smiled at her, a smile that made her blood cold. ‘Yes. I think you can help me’. She looked at him confused for a moment and then cried out in shock as he grabbed hold of her arm and threw her to the floor before stepping inside and closing the door behind him

***********************

Daniel and Johnny were sitting in the bar later, Daniel with his martini, Johnny with his beer. Johnny started down at his drink for a long time before he spoke.

‘I went to see my shrink today’ Johnny said. He took a drink of his beer.

Daniel turned and looked at him with surprise. ‘You see a shrink?’ 

Johnny smiled. ‘I’m surprised you’re surprised. I feel like I need ten fucking shrinks to deal with my shit’

Daniel knew that he shouldn’t be surprised. Hell, he thought, if he had been through what Johnny had experienced, he would see a shrink. But something about Johnny had told him that he wasn’t the kind to seek out the help of a doctor, to go somewhere and talk about his feelings.

‘How did it go?’ Daniel asked.

‘Good. She’s good’ he smiled before taking a drink. ‘She doesn't take my shit, you know. Doesn’t coddle me. I like that’

Daniel smiled. ‘Was it helpful?’ He asked tentatively, didn’t want Johnny to think Daniel expected him to say what he had discussed in a therapy session.

‘She told me that how I handle Kreese is my responsibility, no one else's. She’s all about that. She tells me that I can’t control people, what they do to me. But I can control my response’ He turned in his seat towards Daniel. ‘Like, Kreese abused me, right. That’s on him’

Daniel looked tentative. ‘Yeah….’

‘But how I respond to that. That’s on me. I spent years not getting over it. Blaming him for all the problems in my life. But no more, you know. I have responsibilities other than myself. I’ve got to pull my shit together, for those kids’

Daniel drank his drink slowly. He finally spoke. ‘Don’t you think that is a lot to put on yourself, Johnny?’

Johnny shrugged. ‘Maybe, but those kids, Daniel. What else can I do? I can’t let him near them. The thought that…. he might do to one of them…. No! I am not going to let that happen’ He finished his beer. ‘I have no idea what the plan is, but I need to keep my shit together and protect those kids’

*********************

Kreese stood on the sidewalk, looking up at the familiar logo. He had watched all the kids leaving their practice, talking, laughing, looking at their phones. He smiled as he watched them. The memories took him back to the 80s, back to the original Cobra Kai. 

He remembered when those kids used to hang on his every word, when he used to have parents begging him to let their loser kids join his dojo. Kreese had revelled in being able to sort the men from the boys, leaving the weaker ones to limp away with their tails between their legs. He only let the strong one join his ranks. 

Apart from Johnny Lawrence. The leader of the Cobra Kai. That’s what the boys had called him. Cobra Kai’s leader! Kreese had hated Johnny, had despised him so much he could have tasted it in the back of his throat. 

Kreese had remembered Johnny when he was just another weak loser. The kid who used to cry when things got tough. Kreese had made Johnny. Had turned him into a champion. Kreese had made him strong. And then Johnny had forgotten his place. 

Oh, how had he enjoyed the fear in that cocky blond kid’s eyes, the tears as Kreese had used him that day in the locker room. It made Kreese smile every time he remembered it. None of it had ever been about sex, Kreese had never been interested in teenage boys. It was the power that he remembered.

Back then Kreese had been forced to remind Johnny who the real leader of Cobra Kai was. And he would remind him again. 

*************************

Miguel was in the back room cleaning down the equipment. Tuesdays was his mother's late shift and his grandmother went to her friends for poker night, so he tended to stay behind and help. Miguel looked at the time on his cell; it was getting late. He finished up the final pad and left them out to dry. 

He took his headphones off at the sound of the bell to the door. He listened; the office door opened. Sensei was dealing with it. Miguel went back to his work.

Johnny stared across the mat at Kreese. He had known that Kreese would eventually be back, that he would have to face him. Johnny was prepared this time. He felt stronger.

‘What do you want?’ Johnny asked, walking towards his old mentor.

‘Like I said last time, I am taking back the dojo. It was very kind of you to keep it warm for me, but its rightful owner is back. You can stay if you want but you work for me’

Johnny laughed. ‘Me work for you? Never going to happen. As I said last time, you are not getting your hands on the dojo. You are not getting anywhere near these kids. I won’t let you touch them’

Miguel heard voices in the dojo, took his headphones off. Sensei was having a heated discussion with someone. He knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop but something about his Sensei’s tone made him stop and listen.

Kreese didn’t back down, stared at him. ‘I’ve consulted my lawyer. You thought you could open a dojo called Cobra Kai and nothing would come from it. Haven't you heard of something called copyright’ He smiled. ‘Or we can discuss this amicably. I’m happy to have a conversation. Come to an agreement’

Johnny sneered at him. ‘I am not coming to any agreement with you. We are done’ He turned to walk away.

As Johnny walked away Kreese spoke. ‘How will your students and, better yet, their parents, feel when they find out the kind of person their Sensei really is? Are you sure you are the kind of person these children should be spending time with?’

Johnny stopped. He clenched his hands. He turned towards Kreese. ‘What the fuck do you mean by that?’ He stepped towards him.

Kreese shrugged, smiled. ‘Do they know about you? Who you are?’

Johnny started to get angry. ‘Who am I!? Because I know who you are. You’re nothing but a sick, sad old man’ He stepped towards him, looked down at him. ‘You’re just a fucking child abuser. I am not letting you do to those kids what you did to me!’ Johnny pushed Kreese in the chest. ‘Get out’

Miguel stood in the back room, shock still, not making a sound, didn’t want either man to know he was there. He knew that neither was aware that anyone could hear them. He could feel his heart beating in his chest. 

Kreese stood his ground. He took a piece of paper from his back pocket, unfolded it. He cleared his throat, taking his time. Kreese started to read. ‘A history of self-harm, multiple suicide attempts. Drug abuse, out of control drinking. Risky sexual practices' He looked up at Johnny, smiling. ‘Hmm. Always were a little slut, weren’t you, Johnny’ Kreese clucked his tongue twice with mock disapproval, shaking his head, the smile never leaving his face.

He could feel bile in his throat, felt like he was going to be sick. ‘What is that?’ he asked, his voice breaking. 

Kreese didn’t answer, continued. ‘No close relationship, trust issues, tendency to violence. Ongoing mental health problems, diagnosed as a danger to himself’ He shook his head. ‘Oh, dear. You really are a mess, aren't you’?

Johnny stepped towards him, ripping the paper from the man’s hand. 

‘I visited your shrink, had a little peep at your file. It was interesting reading’ He smiled at Johnny, showing his teeth. ‘It’s always easier to negotiate with someone when you know who you’re dealing with, don’t you think’

Johnny stared down, reading the words. His hands shook. 

‘See, Johnny. I always win. You would have thought you learnt that years ago’ Kreese laughed, ripped the paper from Johnny’s hands. He folded the paper. He was enjoying himself. Kreese went all in. He stepped closer to Johnny and leaned closer to his ear. 

‘Maybe I’ll get you on your knees again and remind you what winning really looks like. Just like last time’

Miguel watched the two men through the door. He looked at his Sensei. Miguel had never seen the look on his face before. Johnny looked lost, staring at his hands where he had held the piece of paper moments before. Miguel couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He must have misunderstood. There must be someone else going on. 

Daniel got out of his car and walked towards the dojo. The lights were on inside. He looked through the window and saw Johnny and Kreese staring each other down. Kreese spoke to Johnny. 

Suddenly Johnny went for Kreese, spinning him and wrapping his arm around his neck, squeezing the crook of his elbow against the man’s throat. 

‘Shit’ Daniel hissed out as he ran towards the dojo. He threw the door open. ‘Johnny, stop!’ 

Miguel saw Johnny’s eyes darken and watched as he leapt at the man in front of him, pulling him into a choke hold. He ran from the back room. ‘Sensei! Stop it!’

Johnny looked at the man, seeing his old mentor’s smiling face, mocking him, mocking Johnny for what he had done to him.

Johnny saw red and before he could stop himself, he went for the man, wrapping his arm around the man’s neck. Johnny squeezed his arms to his chest, crushing the man’s throat. He taught this position to his students to cut off both oxygen and blood to the brain. It took almost fifteen seconds in this position to do serious damage to an opponent. 

Johnny felt the man struggle, hit at Johnny but Johnny just squeezed tighter. He heard someone shout behind him but didn’t let go.

Daniel ran towards them, took hold of Johnny’s arm. ‘Let him go, Johnny’ Daniel said gently. Johnny looked round at Daniel. ‘You need to let him go’

Johnny looked up and saw Miguel was in the room. He was staring at Johnny, eyes wide, scared. Johnny started to let go of Kreese’s neck. Kreese fell to the floor and was on his knees trying to catch his breath. Johnny looked from Daniel to Miguel and, without a word, turned and walked towards the office. He closed the door behind him. 

Kreese got up, looked at Daniel. He rubbed his neck. ‘Mr LaRusso. Good to see you two are still friends’ he croaked. 

Daniel stepped towards the man. ‘Get out. Don’t you dare come back’

Kreese turned and walked towards the door. ‘This isn’t over’ He closed the door behind him.

Daniel looked over at Miguel. Miguel reached down and picked up the piece of paper and handed it to Daniel.

‘Is Sensei going to be OK?’ he asked.

Daniel sighed, put his hand on Miguel’s shoulder. ‘I’ll look after him. You get on home’

Miguel nodded. ‘I hear them arguing. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overhear, I was just helping out’ Miguel stopped, looked at his feet. He looked up at Daniel, his eyes angry. ‘Is what Sensei said true? About what that man did to him?’ he asked.

Daniel looked at Miguel. The boy was here the whole time. God knows what he heard. ‘He’ll be OK. I’m going to take him home’

Miguel nodded and left, closing the door behind him. Daniel locked the door to the dojo behind him. He looked down at the piece of paper in his hand. Scribbled notes copied from a therapist's report. He read it and closed his eyes. He screwed the paper up and headed towards the office. 

Johnny was sitting in the chair behind the desk, whisky bottle in his hand, hanging between his legs, head down. He looked up as Daniel entered the room. He brought the bottle to his mouth, drank down one gulp, then another and a third, downed a quarter of the bottle. He coughed with the taste of it.

Daniel placed the paper on the table. ‘Are you OK, Johnny?’

Johnny looked at him. ‘You know, I thought I was but...’ He looked grimly at the bottle in his hands. ‘How much did Miguel hear?’ he asked.

‘He was in the back room. I think he heard everything’ Daniel said, leaning against the filing cabinet

Johnny moaned, placed the bottle on the table. He ran his hands through his hair. ‘Christ. What am I going to do, LaRusso? I can’t do this. I would just let him have it, he can have the dojo, I don’t care about the business. But those kids….’ He rubbed his eyes, trying to keep his emotions together. Johnny looked up Daniel. ‘I thought I could do this, but I’m not strong enough, Daniel. He’s beaten me’

Daniel sat on the desk in front of him. Daniel put his hand on Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny didn’t push it away.

‘We’ll figure something out, OK.’


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder of the warnings for non-con and suicidal thoughts and description of a suicide attempt. Some of this chapter may be triggering.

**1985**

Johnny looked down at his hands. They were shaking, He clenched his fists and breathed out. He looked up and around him. The room was loud and claustrophobic. It was full of people, some sitting waiting like him, others rushing about with paperwork. Men in suits were standing about talking.

There were twelve individuals sitting in the seats to the side. The jury. Johnny had waited months. Months of sleepless nights; months of back and forth with prosecutors. He had waited for jurors to be selected and for the lawyers to fight their legal battles behind closed doors. Johnny had sat through the lawyer's opening statement. He had been warned that the trial would be rough, but he was determined to get through it.

The one thing he hadn’t prepared himself for was Kreese. He knew that the man would be there but hadn’t prepared himself for his body’s involuntary response to seeing him again in the flesh. Johnny had been walking through the central aisle when he had seen the man sitting at the front. He’d suddenly come to a stop as the man turned and looked at him. Kreese had smiled at him. Bobby had had to steer Johnny to his seat as his legs seemed to fail him.

Now every time Johnny stole a glance his way, Kreese seemed to be looking at him, his face a mixture of relaxation and amusement. Kreese was dressed in a suit, Johnny almost not recognising his Sensei at first, so used to seeing him in his black gi. Kreese was constantly flanked by three lawyers and, to Johnny’s relief, had not approached him as they waited outside the courtroom. Kreese had just settled on staring at Johnny. Johnny could feel eyes on him and would turn to find his old mentor’s eyes boring holds in him.

‘Are you OK, man?’ a voice next to Johnny said.

Johnny looked around to Bobby. Johnny looked down at his shaking hands again.

‘Yeah, I’m OK’ Johnny said quietly. 

Bobby took Johnny’s hand and held it. Johnny squeezed back, not even thinking to be embarrassed about holding his friend's hand. 

Johnny knew that today was coming. As soon as he had told Bobby’s parents, he knew that he would end up here. He was going to have to sit on the stand and tell a room full of strangers what had happened to him. The prosecution lawyers had given him an outline of what they would be asking. What they didn’t know was what the defence had planned. Johnny’s stomach ached with anxiety. 

The room started to go quiet and Johnny looked up. The judge had entered the room. There was a shuffle of seats as everyone stood up.

Johnny sat down. He looked back down at his hands. There were voices in the room, but they were all white noise to Johnny. He suddenly felt an elbow nudge him in the side. Johnny looked up. They were calling him. 

The judge was looking at him. ‘Today, Mr Lawrence’ 

Johnny jumped up and took a breath. He walked across the room, avoiding eye contact, and doing all he could not to let his eyes be drawn to the man sitting at the front.

Johnny was embarrassed to see how much his hand shook as he held the bible. The court clerk gave Johnny a small, almost invisible smile of encouragement as he took it from him.

Johnny took his seat. The prosecution lawyer was in front of him. Johnny had been warned he would be on the stand for a while and that he could ask for a break if he needed it. He just wanted to get through it as quickly as possible.

‘Mr Lawrence. Are you a John or a Johnny?’ he asked.

‘Uh...Johnny...sir’ 

‘OK, Johnny. I know this is hard, but I need to go through with you everything that happened. Take your time and think carefully about your answers. Can you do that?’ the man said to him, face friendly. 

‘Yes, sir’

‘OK, let’s start at the beginning. How long have you been a member of the Cobra Kai dojo?’

Johnny swallowed. He had been told that they would start with easy questions. ‘Five years. I joined when I was twelve’

‘And you have done well? Become one of their top students, am I right?’

‘Yes, sir. I worked hard and won some tournaments’

‘Johnny, tell me when you started to notice that something was wrong with your Sensei’s behaviour?’

A voice called out. ‘Objection, leading question!’

Johnny looked up in the direction of the voice. His eyes caught Kreese’s. Kreese smiled at him.

‘Sustained. Please rephrase the question’

‘Sorry, your honour. Johnny, tell me about when you felt your relationship with your Sensei changed?’

‘Uh...well….’Johnny started to look around, up at the judge and then at the jury. He felt like all the preparation he had done was falling away.

‘Johnny, talk to me, not anyone else’ the lawyer in front of him said

‘OK…. uh…. well…. I would be at practice and I noticed that he would put his hands on me, touch me when I was stretching. He would correct me but then he wouldn’t move his hands’

‘And how did you feel about that?’

‘It was weird. I thought I was imagining it and then it happened more and more. It freaked me out, I didn’t know what to do about it’

‘Could you have told him to stop?’

Johnny thought about it for a moment. ‘I was embarrassed, you know. I didn’t want to make a big thing about it. I thought if I left it, it might just stop’

The lawyer nodded to him. ‘Did it stop?’

Johnny breathed, his breath trembling involuntarily as he let it out. ‘No, it got worse’

‘Got worse how?’

‘It happened more and more. I thought I was imagining it for so long and then it got to the point where I knew I wasn’t. I felt like he was always watching me. I would look round and his eyes were on me, you know. It scared me’

‘Tell me about the day in his office. You said in your statement that he made you stay behind. What happened that day?’

There was a lump in Johnny’s throat. He swallowed hard. ‘Sensei called me into his office. He said he thought I was injured and started asking me questions’

‘What happened then?’

‘Uh… he made me take my gi….my training uniform off’

‘When you say he made you take your uniform off, what do you mean?’

‘He told me to take it off, said that he wanted to look at me. I said no but he got angry, like I was being unreasonable’

‘And you did it?’

Johnny looked down at his hands. He suddenly felt ashamed, like he was confessing to doing something wrong. Like he should have fought harder. ‘I did. He’s my Sensei. I….’ He stopped talking; didn’t know what else to say.

‘What happened after you had taken your clothes off?’

‘He put his hands on me, like he was feeling my back. I just wanted him to stop, wanted him to let me leave’

‘And did he?’

‘Eventually he just told me I could go, and I ran out’

‘Thank you, Johnny. That’s really helpful’ The man walked back to his table and looked at his notes. He walked back towards Johnny. ‘I want to talk to you about the second incident in his office. When was this?’

Johnny considered for a minute. ‘A couple of weeks later. I had been avoiding him and he said he wanted to talk to me about it’

‘Tell me what happened. You said he asked you some questions’

‘Yeah…. he started to ask me about my...uh...sex life’ Johnny hesitated as he spoke.

‘You sex life? What do you mean?’

‘He asked if I were a virgin and started to ask me about what I had……. done with my girlfriend’ Johnny paused. ‘He asked me…...’ Johnny stopped.

‘What did he ask you?’ 

Johnny looked at his hands. He couldn’t bear the eyes staring at him. ‘He asked me if I….’ Johnny stopped again.

‘Go on. Take your time’ the lawyer said gently.

Johnny to another breath. He clenched his fists. He had told himself that he wouldn’t be afraid to speak. Johnny looked up. He said clearly. ‘He asked me if I jerk off. He wanted to know what I thought about as I did it’

Johnny took a breath. He was getting through it.

A stern voice came from above him. ‘Please watch your language in my courtroom, Mr Lawrence’

Johnny turned quickly. The judge was looking down at him.

I’m sorry, sir’ he stumbled through his words. ‘That’s what happened’

‘Please think about the language you use as you speak’

The judge gestured to the lawyer to continue. Johnny looked back at the lawyer. His hands were shaking again. 

The lawyer nodded to him. ‘Carry on’

‘Uh’ Johnny looked up at the judge and back at the lawyer. ‘He started to ask me about my girlfriend’ He looked back at the judge. ‘He wanted to know if she…. uh’

‘Don’t look at me. Talk to the prosecution’ the judge said

Johnny turned back. He was confused and suddenly didn’t know what he could say. He sighed. ‘That’s all. He let me go and I ran out. I just ran…. I needed to get away. I was so scared’

’Did anything happen after that?’ 

‘Not for a while’

‘You continued attending classes?’

‘Yeah, I kept going. I thought it was over, whatever it was had stopped. And then….’ Johnny trailed off.

‘Tell us about the final time. Did it escalate?’

‘Yeah….it got bad’

‘Tell us what happened that day. And take your time’

Johnny looked over at the jurors. They had a mix of facial expressions and were all watching him. He wondered what they were thinking, what they thought of him. 

‘Mr Lawrence?’ 

Johnny looked back at his lawyer. ‘Sorry’

‘I asked you to tell me what happened’ His lawyer nodded discreetly at Johnny to encourage him. 

‘Uh…...I stayed late to clean up after practice’

‘Is that normal?’ the man interrupted.

‘Is what normal?’

‘Staying after class’

‘Yeah. I hadn’t done it for a while but it’s pretty normal’

‘OK, carry on’

‘Um...OK…. I stayed behind, to clean mats. And afterwards I went to the locker room, to change. It was so hot last summer’ 

Johnny took a breath and looked at his hands again. He looked up and around the room. His eyes settled on Kreese. Kreese wasn’t smiling anymore, he was staring at Johnny. His eyes were furious. That old need to please his Sensei made him stop. Johnny dragged his eyes away from the man and focused on his lawyer.

‘Go on. Take your time’

‘I was in the locker rooms, getting changed when……. he came up behind me. He was angry’ 

Johnny could feel a lump in his throat and his eyes stung. For an awful moment he thought he was going to cry. Johnny had promised himself he would get through this without crying, that he wouldn’t let Kreese see it.

He took a breath and closed his eyes. He started to talk, not opening his eyes.

‘He started to grab at me and then he hit me’

‘What happened next?’

Johnny opened his eyes and looked at his lawyer. ‘I tried to get away, but he kept on hitting me. And then he….’ He paused but was determined to get to the end. ‘He made me…...he put his….in my mouth’ A wave of revulsion went through as he said it. 

‘You’re doing really well, Johnny. Keep going’ the lawyer encouraged. 

This information had all been in the evidence, but the prosecutors wanted Johnny to say it, for the jurors to watch him talk about it. They hadn’t told Johnny that, they didn’t want him to back out. The lawyers knew that it would be more real to the members of the jury when they had to hear the victim talk about it.

‘He…. uh…. finished’ 

Johnny looked at his hands. He knew his friends were in the crowd and he was suddenly very aware of them hearing all of this. He started to feel sick more with the shame than the memories. He watched a single tear fall onto his hand. Johnny brought his hand up and wiped his eyes roughly

‘I threw up on the floor and that made him even more angry. He kicked me in the ribs, he was shouting at me, calling me names. He was so angry. I thought he was going to kill me. Then he left, just walked out and left me alone. I…. got dressed and left’

‘Thank you, Johnny. I know how hard that was to get through. Where did you go?’

‘I just walked home’

‘Did you tell anyone?’

Johnny looked over at his mother, who was crying into her hands. ‘Not at first, then I told a friend, who told his parents’

‘Thank you, Johnny. That’s all we need from you for now’ The lawyer turned to the judge. ‘Thank you, your honour.’

The judge cleared his throat. ‘Right, I think we need an adjournment before the defence asks their questions. Ten minutes.’ The judge got up and everyone jumped to their feet. 

Johnny sat in the box, watching people moving around him. Kreese didn’t look at him as he and his lawyers walked out.

Bobby came towards him. ‘Hey, man’ he said softly. ‘Are you OK?’

Johnny nodded. He looked out and saw familiar heads leaving the room. ‘They all came?’ he asked, referring to his fellow Cobra Kai. 

‘Uh, yeah Johnny. They are not going to stay. It’s all too much. I don’t think they realised what they were going to be hearing’ Bobby said, embarrassed for his friend.

Johnny only nodded. 

‘Do you want to get some air or something?’ 

Johnny smiled and shook his head. ‘If I go outside, I won’t come back’

They stood and talked, waiting for everyone to come back in. The prosecutor lawyer approached Johnny and Bobby. ‘You did well, Johnny. The defence will have their questions and then you will be done. Just answer their questions truthfully and as concisely as you can, OK?

Johnny nodded and the lawyer squeezed his arm in encouragement. 

A loud voice could be heard. ‘Court back in session. Please take your seats’

Bobby smiled at Johnny and headed back to his seat.

The judge re-entered the room and sat down. ‘Right, let’s get through this so we can all get home on time. Defence. You ready?’

‘Yes, your honour’. 

A man approached Johnny. He was old, his age surprising Johnny, standing slightly stooped over. He smiled at Johnny.

Mr Lawrence. You’ve been a Cobra Kai for five years under John Kreese, is that right?’

‘Yes sir’

‘What made you join?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘What made you join Cobra Kai?’

Johnny considered the question. It had taken him by surprise. ‘Uh...I wanted to make friends and it looked like fun’

‘And you’ve done well there, one of Sensei Kreese’s star pupils is what I hear’

Johnny just nodded.

‘You ever help out? With teaching, the younger kids I mean?’

Johnny nodded. ‘Yeah sometimes. Especially when we have new students. I’ll look after them in their first few classed, show them the basics so Sensei can take the rest of the class through their normal routine’

The man looked at him. ‘And what does that instruction look like?’

Johnny started to answer easily. ‘I help them with their stances, show them how to throw a punch. The real basics, you know’

‘I know. You ever put their hands on them, correct them’ he asked.

‘Uh…. sometimes...you know…’

‘So, it’s normal for an instructor to touch the students?’

‘I mean….’

‘You said you do it’

‘Sometimes...but…’

‘So, you say that Kreese would put his hands on you during practice. What is the difference between what you do and what he was doing?’ the man asked, looking Johnny in the eye.

Johnny stuttered. ‘It’s just different. I don’t know….it was just different’

‘OK thank you’ The man took a couple of steps before turning back to Johnny. ‘I want to discuss that day in the office, where you say your Sensei asked you to get undressed. Is it normal for an instructor to do that? You said he feared you were injured. Were you?’

‘Um…… no, I don’t think I was injured’

‘And is it normal for an instructor to check?’

‘Maybe, but not like that,’ Johnny replied.

‘You say he asked you to take your gi off. You did it?’ the man asked.

Johnny licked his lips nervously. ‘I did...I mean….’

‘You say it isn’t normal, but you did it anyway. Why?’

‘I don’t know…. he’s my Sensei, you know’

The man looked at the jury but continued speaking to Johnny. ‘A grown man asks you to take your clothes off and you do it?’ He turned to Johnny. ‘That seems abnormal to me’

Johnny could feel himself getting hot, a trickle of sweat crept down his back. ‘I said no, and he was angry so...I just did it. I don’t know why’

‘Where the blinds open or closed in the office?’ the lawyer asked.

Johnny was thrown off guard. ‘What do you mean?’

‘The blinds. There is a window facing the street. Where the blinds up or down? Can you remember?’

Johnny answered quickly. ‘They were down’

‘You’re sure?’

‘Yeah, they must have been’

The man stopped. ‘What do you mean, they must have been?’

Johnny answered. ‘I wouldn’t have done it if they were open. People outside would have seen. I would have refused’

‘So, you didn’t refuse because the blinds were down’ The lawyer turned back to the jury. ‘So, you are saying you were too scared to say no, that it was against your will, but you wouldn’t have done it if people could have seen. You did have a choice.’

‘No, I didn’t say that….’ Johnny protested.

‘I want to talk about that day you say your Sensei questioned you about sex. That he, as you so eloquently put it, asked you if you jerk off’

‘OK’ Johnny replied. His hands were shaking. 

‘You claim he asked you if you were a virgin. Are you?’

‘Am I what?’

‘Are you a virgin, Mr Lawrence?’

_(Have you ever fucked...or been fucked)_

Johnny put the heels of his hands to his eyes, cleared the voice from his head.

‘Objection. Why is this relevant?’ a voice called.

‘Your honour, it is relevant because I want to establish the reason for this conversation that allegedly took place in John Kreese’s office’

The judge waved his hand. ‘I’ll allow it. Carry on’

‘Thank you, you honour. Mr Lawrence, are you a virgin?’

Johnny looked around at the eyes on him. ‘Uh...no... I…’

‘In your statement to the police you said that you told Sensei Kreese that you had been sleeping with your girlfriend, implied that she had engaged in oral sex’ The man said, consulting a note on his desk.

‘Yeah…. I did….’

‘Do you ever brag about your sex life? Embellish?’ the lawyer asked.

‘No…I don’t think….’

‘Oh, come on, Mr Lawrence. Boy your age. You’ve never exaggerated about your sexual experience? Embellished a story to make your buddies jealous? Don’t all young men do it?’ The man was incredulous in his questions. He smiled at the jury as he said it. ‘And may I remind you Mr Lawrence that you are under oath’

‘I mean…. maybe sometimes...but it’s just between friends. I wasn’t lying when I said….’ 

The lawyer picked up a piece of paper from his desk. ‘I spoke to your ex-girlfriend, Miss Mills. She denies anything happened between you. She says that you are lying’

Johnny stared at the lawyer. ‘I…. I didn’t lie…. I don’t know why she would say that’

The lawyer stood in front of Johnny. ‘Maybe she said it because it wasn’t true’

Johnny started to get angry. ‘Why would I lie about that?’

The man shrugged. ‘I don’t know, Mr Lawrence. You were the one who said you had this conversation with my client. He tells me that he never had a conversation of the sort’

Johnny looked over at Kreese who leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, smiling smugly back at him.

‘We did…. he asked me…’

The lawyers interrupted. ‘Let’s talk about the day where you allege my client assaulted you’ He looked at his notes. ‘You are a black belt in karate, am I right?’

‘Um...yeah…’

‘Tournament winner, twice I see. That’s a very impressive record, Mr Lawrence. You know how to fight? How to defend yourself?’

‘Yes...I…’

‘Yet, you say Sensei Kreese attacked you and you were helpless. Did you attempt to fight back at all? You must know how’

Johnny opened his mouth, but no sound came out. 

‘Please answer the question, Mr Lawrence’ the judge said impatiently.

‘Uh...uh...I tried to, but I was scared…’

‘You tried to. What did you do?’ The defence lawyer looked at his notes. ‘Your statement says nothing about it. Sensei Kreese has no injuries. Did you fight back or not?’

‘No…. I didn’t’

The man turned to the jury again. ‘A man attacks you, forces you into a sexual act, and you do nothing. With all your training, you don’t bother to fight back in any way?’

Johnny could feel a lump in his throat, he felt like it was blocking his airway. He didn’t respond.

‘I asked you if you fought back at all?’

‘No’ Johnny said quietly. 

‘Sorry, what was that?’ the man said loudly.

‘No’ Johnny said louder.

‘So let me recap, you say that the man who had been tormenting you for weeks attacks you and you did nothing. You let him do it?’ 

Johnny could feel tears building. He wiped at his eyes. ‘I didn’t know what to do’ he said softly.

The man turned back to Johnny. ‘You know what I think, Mr Lawrence’ Johnny looked at him. ‘I think you are a liar. I think you are lying about your Sensei, just like you lied about that poor girl. You are trying to ruin both of their reputations with your lies’

‘No! I’m not lying!’ Johnny started to shout. ‘I’m not lying, I swear!’

‘Mr Lawrence, please keep your voice down’ 

Johnny looked up at the judge who stared down at him. Johnny started to cry. ‘I’m not lying’

‘Don’t talk to him, talk to me’ the lawyer said. Johnny looked away from the judge, back to the man standing in front of him. ‘You were angry that your Sensei was no longer paying you attention and you told a lie to punish him. Isn’t that right? Sensei Kreese is a respected member of the community and you are lying about him’

Johnny started to cry. He gripped the edge of the box hard enough to turn his knuckles white. He couldn't talk, couldn’t look up at all the eyes on him.

‘Can we have an adjournment?’ the prosecutor said.

‘I think we had better,’ the judge said. ‘Ten minutes, no more’

Johnny jumped from his seat and ran through the courtroom. He was in the lobby. Johnny could hear a voice shouting his name, but he kept running. He ran into the bathrooms and into the end stall.

Johnny sat on the floor and started to cry. He brought his knees up to eyes. He felt like he couldn't breathe, like his throat was closing. Before he knew it, he was lying on the floor of the stall, curled up, his cheek against the cold tiles.

Johnny didn’t know how long he lay there. He couldn’t bear the thought of going back in there, couldn't stand the accusing eyes around the courtroom. Couldn't stand to see Kreese’s smug smile as his lawyers ripped Johnny’s story to pieces.

There was a voice on a speaker system. ‘Mr Lawrence, please present yourself in court room one’

Johnny closed his eyes and crawled until he was sitting up. He sat against the wall, sobs making him hiccup. He covered his face with his hands and tried to control his breathing.

‘John Lawrence, please attend court one immediately’ the voice said again.

The bathroom door opened, and Johnny saw familiar sneakers cross the floor. ‘Johnny, are you in here?’ Bobby said softly.

Johnny climbed off the floor and opened the cubicle door. Bobby stood in front of him. ’Are you OK, man?’ he asked.

Johnny shook his head. ‘I can’t go back out there’

Bobby put his hands on Johnny’s arms and looked him in the eye. ‘You have to, Johnny. You can’t let them get away with this’

Johnny pulled away from him. ‘I can’t bear what they are saying about me’

‘That’s what they do, Johnny. The jury know it’s bullshit. They’re just trying to make this difficult for you’ 

Johnny stepped towards the sinks and looked at himself in the mirror. His face was red, and his eyes were swollen. He turned the tap on and splashed water on his face. He looked back at himself. He looked better.

‘Come on, Johnny. You can’t let them get to you. Just keep telling the truth’ Bobby smiled kindly at him.

‘OK, man. You’re right’ Johnny hugged his friend.

Bobby looked at him. ‘You ready?’ 

‘Yeah. Let’s go’

The two boys left the bathrooms and walked down the corridor.

‘Hey’ Bobby said. ‘That judge is an old bastard isn’t it?’

Johnny looked sad. ‘He hates me’

Bobby nudged him playfully. ‘Don’t worry. He probably hates everyone’

Johnny smiled as they walked into the courtroom.

‘Ah Mr Lawrence. Good to see you’ Johnny stopped and looked up. The judge was looking at him. ‘Here please’ he gestured towards the front.

Bobby patted Johnny on the shoulder before walking back to his seat. Johnny started to walk to the front of the courtroom, desperately trying to ignore the eyes that followed him. Johnny stood in front of the judge.

‘I gave you ten minutes. That ten minutes ended…’ he looked at is watch ‘...twenty minutes ago’

‘I’m sorry, your honour. I needed some time’ Johnny said quietly.

‘Keep my court waiting like that again and you will be in serious danger of being found in contempt, you understand’ the man said sternly.

Johnny looked at the floor. All the confidence from Bobby’s pep talk was gone. ‘I’m sorry’

The judge gestured to the witness box. ‘Court is back in session. Let’s move shall we’

Johnny sat. He looked at Bobby who smiled in encouragement. Johnny looked over at where his mother had been sitting. She was gone. He glanced around, trying to find her, and realised she was not in the room. As he looked around his eyes found Kreese. The man was smiling at him, arms crossed. Johnny looked away.

‘Mr Lawrence’ Johnny looked around at the elderly lawyer in front of him. ‘Are you ready?’

‘Yes sir’

‘Good. Mr Lawrence, have you ever been in a fight?’

‘A fight? Like, the tournaments?’ Johnny asked

‘No. I mean, have you ever been in a fight? Have you ever hit anyone outside of the dojo, outside of the tournament?’

‘Uh...yeah. A few’ Johnny answered carefully. He didn’t know where the new line of questioning was going. 

‘When you say a few, what do you mean?’ the lawyer asked.

‘I don’t know. A few. Just kids’ stuff at school, you know’ Johnny answered nervously.

The lawyer stepped towards the table and looked at his notes. `We spoke to Miss Mills and she said that you were constantly in fights. In fact, she tells me that you attacked her and her new boyfriend’

‘I didn’t attack them…. I just wanted to talk to her’ Johnny protested.

‘She said that you attacked her and turned on her boyfriend when he tried to defend her’

Johnny looked at the jury. ‘I didn’t attack her. I wasn't going to hurt her!’

The lawyer shrugged. ‘She says that she was scared of you’

‘Objection. Is this relevant?’

The lawyer turned to the prosecution's table. ‘Mr Lawrence claimed that the injuries he sustained were caused by Sensei Kreese. I put to him that these injuries were caused by the fights that he doesn't seem to be able to stop himself getting into’

‘No, he hit me!’

‘Overruled. Continue please’

‘That’s what you told the police. But I don’t believe you. I think this is just another of your lies’

‘I….’ Johnny tried to speak but was interrupted.

‘Have you ever been with a man, Mr Lawrence?’

‘What....What do you mean?’

‘A man? Have you ever been in a sexual relationship with a man?’

‘No! Never’

‘Were you attracted to your Sensei?’ he asked.

‘No! Why would…. why would you ask me that?’

‘No more questions, your honour’

The lawyer turned away and walked back to his desk. Johnny looked around in shock.

‘You may step down, Mr Lawrence’ the judge said.

‘No! Why did he ask me that?’

‘Please step down, Mr Lawrence’

Johnny stood and started to walk back to the empty seat next to Bobby. He sat heavily. Bobby took his hand and squeezed it. They looked up at the sound of the judge's voice.

‘I think that is it for today. We’ll reconvene at 9am tomorrow. Please don’t be late’

********************

Johnny stared at the knife in his hands. His throat felt tight and his hand shook as he gripped the handle. Johnny looked down at his legs, at the scars on his thigh. It was like having an itch that he was desperate to scratch.

Johnny saw the deepest scar. He could still see the marks where the old man had stitched him up. He remembered what the man had said to him. His promise not to cut himself again.

He put the knife to his skin and applied pressure.

With a cry he threw the knife across the room. Johnny put his head in his hands and started to cry

*******************

Johnny sat in the courtroom. Kreese was on the stand today. Johnny didn’t know why he was here. The prosecution told him that he didn’t need to attend, that they would call him he was needed. But Johnny couldn’t bear to think that Kreese would be allowed to tell lies about him.

Bobby was with him again, holding his hand. Johnny’s mother had stopped attending, all of his friends had not come back. Even Daniel had abandoned him. Bobby was the only one left and Johnny clung to his hand, afraid that if he let go, Bobby would disappear as well. 

Johnny looked up. The judge was entering the room. He stood with everyone else.

‘John Kreese please’ 

Johnny watched Kreese walk across the room and towards the box. He moved slowly, confident; not rushing.

The lawyer stood in front of him. The lawyer looked relaxed. Johnny hated to see them both so calm while his head pounded with stress.

‘Sensei Kreese’ the lawyer started. ‘Thank you for speaking today. I can only imagine how stressful this has all been’

Kreese smiled at the man and looked over at the jury. ‘It has been stressful, but I don’t begrudge being here. I have nothing but faith in the American justice system’

‘Sensei Kreese, what is your relationship with Mr Lawrence?’

‘He’s been my student for, oh, five, maybe six years now. As soon as he joined, I knew he was gifted in karate. Teaching him was an honour’

‘In one of your statements you said that you started to notice a change in him over the past month. Tell us about that’

Kreese’s face changed, he looked sad and regretful. ‘Yes. I started to worry about him. I knew he was having girlfriend problems and he became quiet in class and his performance started to suffer’

‘Did you try to speak to him?’

‘Oh yes. I called him into the office after class and attempted to have a conversation. He got angry with me, started to curse, and call me awful names. It surprised me; he had always been so respectful in the past’

‘Did you get angry with him, for the disrespect?’ 

‘No. When you see as many kids as I do you can spot a teen who is troubled. I was sad to hear him speak to me like that, but I couldn’t feel bad. I started to worry there was something wrong with him, you know, mental health issues’

Johnny gripped Bobby’s hand. ‘That’s a lie’ he hissed. 

‘You say mental health problems. What do you mean?’

‘I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. But his behaviour would change so quickly. He would get angry. I knew he had problems at home, his stepfather was rough with him. I worried he was taking drugs’

‘Mr Lawrence says that you were worried that he was injured and asked him to remove his uniform’

Kreese answered passionately. ‘That is categorically untrue. I would never cross such a line with a student. It just makes me sad that he is willing to take his lies this far, wasting the time of the courts and these fine people on the jury’

‘Did you ever ask him personal questions about his sex life?’

‘No, I did not. I did speak to him about the way he spoke about his girlfriend in the dojo’

‘What do you mean?’

‘He was running his mouth off to his friends, saying things that I won’t repeat here. I couldn’t stand to hear a young lady disrespecting in such a vile way’

Johnny started to get angry at the lies. He stood up. ‘That’s not true!’

‘Mr Lawrence, sit down and be quiet’

‘But he’s lying! I never would have said anything about Ali!’ 

The judge pointed angrily at Johnny. ‘Shut up Mr Lawrence or I will have your forcibly removed from my courtroom’

Bobby pulled Johnny back into his seat. ‘Johnny, shh’

‘But he’s lying and they’re letting him’ Johnny hissed.

‘I do apologise for that, Sensei Kreese. Please carry on’ the judge said.

‘It isn’t a problem. As I said, he is a troubled boy and I don’t blame him for any of this. I just hope he gets some help’ Kreese smiled across at Johnny, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

‘Tell me about your concerns that Mr Lawrence was taking drugs?’ The lawyer asked.

‘I started to notice that Johnny would be slow to respond, it wasn’t like him. He had some of the quickest reflexes I had seen in a student and suddenly he was sluggish, like his mind was somewhere else. Then one day I noticed his pupils were dilated and I know that he was taking drugs’

‘Did you confront him?’

‘Of course. Teens taking drugs is one thing, kids will always experiment, but I won’t have them turning up to practice stoned’

The lawyer nodded. ‘And how did he respond?’

‘Same as before. He was angry and started threatening me, telling me that his father would sue me. His stepfather is quite wealthy, you see’

‘You also said in your statement that Johnny made sexual advances at you?’

‘Yes, I am afraid so. I don’t know what was going through his head. I am not sure whether he was on drugs when it happened or whether he thought he could blackmail me in some way’

Johnny started to stand to say something and Bobby held him back. ‘Don’t, Johnny. It’s not worth it’

‘He’s lying. These are all lies’ Johnny hissed.

‘I know but you’ll be given your chance to speak. You’ll get thrown out’ Bobby whispered.

‘What exactly happened?’ 

‘The boy put his hands on me, tried to put his hands on me over my clothes. I pushed him away, quite forcefully I have to admit. I was just so shocked. He was upset. I tried to calm him down, but he ran away from me.

‘What do you think brought that on?’

‘I honestly have no idea. I wouldn’t want to speculate’

‘Thank you, Sensei Kreese. That was very helpful’

‘Am I done? Kreese asked, almost surprised. 

‘Yes, thank you’ 

Kreese stood and walked towards his table.

The defence lawyer spoke. ‘I would like to speak to John Lawrence again if that is alright with your honour?’

‘Yes, yes. But make it quick’ the judge said with a wave of his hand. ‘Mr Lawrence, please approach the box’

Johnny turned to Bobby, confused. He hadn’t expected to be needed again. He stood slowly and with a squeeze of Bobby’s hand, made his way to the front. He sat in the box.

‘You remember you are under oath?’

‘Yes, your honour’

The defence lawyer approached the witness box. He smiled at Johnny. Johnny didn’t smile back. He knew this man wasn’t friendly.

‘Mr Lawrence, you’ve just heard your Sensei give his testimony. You weren’t happy with what he said.’ It wasn’t a question.

Johnny looked over at Kreese. ‘He’s lying, about everything’

‘Mr Lawrence, do you take drugs?’

‘What do you mean?’ Johnny asked, hesitating.

‘Drugs. Illegal, mind altering substances. Do you take them?’ The man paused. ‘And I will remind you again that you are under oath’

Johnny looked around. ‘Uh…. I mean…. I have’

‘What drugs do you take?’

‘I have smoked a bit of pot. I tried cocaine once at a party, but only once’

The lawyer looked thoughtful. ‘Have you ever been to practice after taking drugs?’

‘No, I mean, not stoned. Maybe I have smoked a bit of weed earlier in the day, but nothing like that’ Johnny protested.

‘So, you have taken drugs before practice?’

‘I only took….’

‘I am just looking for a yes or no answer, Mr Lawrence. Have you taken drugs before karate practice?

Johnny looked at his hand. ‘Yes’ he said softly.

‘Sorry. I can’t hear you’

‘Yes’ he said.

‘Thank you. Did Sensei Kreese ever speak to you about it?’ He asked.

‘Yes, once, but not about me being stoned, just that he was worried that it would affect our fitness, you know. He didn’t want us smoking, said something about us being athletes’

‘So, he did speak to you about taking drugs?’

‘Yes, but not like…’

‘Thank you, Mr Lawrence.’

Johnny was getting a headache. He desperately wanted to get off the stand, to run away. Johnny started to think about the penknife in his bedroom, suddenly it was all he could think about.

‘Did you get angry with your Sensei?’

‘No’

‘Angry enough to tell lies about him? Angry enough to throw yourself at him in the hope of punishing him?’

‘No!’

‘What are your feelings towards men, Mr Lawrence? Do you find your Sensei attractive?’

‘No!’

‘Why would Sensei Kreese lie about all this?’

Johnny was shocked, couldn’t speak. He looked up at the jury, who stared at him. He couldn’t begin to imagine what they were thinking. He started to break as they looked at him, he could see the disgust in their face. Johnny looked down, away from them. Their eyes felt like they were burning him.

‘Mr Lawrence, please answer the question. What would your Sensei lie about this? Are you still trying to convince us that he is lying about you?’

‘I want to leave’ Johnny said quietly, head down.

‘What was that?’

Johnny looked up. ‘I’m sorry, I take it all back. I don’t want to do this anymore. I just want to go home’

‘What do you mean you take it back?’

Johnny’s voice got louder. ‘I take it back. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I give up. I take it all back. I shouldn’t have said anything’

‘You are telling the court that you take it all back. It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?

‘No, I’m sorry’ Johnny turned to the jury and then to the judge. ‘I’m sorry. I take back everything I said’

‘You were lying. These were all lies, weren't they, Mr Lawrence. Maybe you thought it wouldn’t go this far, didn’t see yourself here. And now you want to take it all back?’

Johnny started to cry. ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’ he said into his hands.

The man turned to the judge. ‘I am done here. I am making a request to the court that the case be dismissed. There is no crime for my client to answer to. These are just the lies of a very damaged child’

The judge nodded. He turned to Johnny. ‘You can leave’

Johnny stood and ran. Bobby followed him. Johnny ran down the front steps of the courthouse and threw himself onto the grass below. He cried as Bobby held him. 

*************************

Johnny curled up in the bottom of the bath, the taps running. Water started to lap at his cheek. He laid there, his cheek to the bottom of the bath as water started to reach his nose. Johnny sat up and brought his knees up to his chest. The water continued to rise around him.

The penknife was on the side of the bath. Johnny looked at it for a moment before reaching for it.

Johnny shivered. He was naked and the water wasn’t warm. He didn’t care. The cold didn’t bother him.

He opened the knife and looked at it. Tears fell freely down his face as he placed the knife to his skin and started to apply pressure. The blade broke the skin and he started to pull the knife up his arm. He cried out in pain but didn’t stop. He watched the blood drip into the water. 

He didn’t hesitate on the next start, dragging the knife up his arm, splitting the skin open. The water around Johnny was pink with diluted blood. The taps were still running, and Johnny laid down in the cold water, watching his arms bleed into the water. He felt disassociated, as if he was watching a movie.

Johnny’s eyes were heavy, he felt sleepy. Johnny heard someone scream as he slipped under the water. 


	4. Chapter 4

**2018**

Johnny woke. He groaned and rolled over. His head hurt and his eyes stung with lack of sleep. He jumped with surprise as he realised he wasn’t alone. Then he remembered. Daniel had refused to go home the night before. He hadn’t wanted to leave Johnny alone after their encounter with Kreese. Daniel was asleep in Johnny’s bed. 

_Christ. If my life hasn’t gotten bad enough, now I’m sharing a bed with LaRusso._

Johnny looked over at Daniel, still fast asleep, wearing just his underwear and one of Johnny’s t-shirts. Johnny stared at the ceiling. He started to think about the day before, about what Kreese had said to him. Johnny had gotten angry but everything that Kreese had said was true. Johnny was a mess, a fuck up. 

And now this asshole was in his bed, assuming that Johnny was going to top himself in the middle of the night. Well, fuck him! Like he even gave a shit!

He knew why Daniel was really here. It was guilt. Guilt over what had happened years ago. Daniel would leave him once he had cleared his conscience. The thought made Johnny angry. He didn’t need anyone's pity and he wasn’t going to help ease LaRusso’s conscience. 

‘Hey, LaRusso’ Johnny said a little too loudly.

Daniel snorted and woke. He opened his eyes and looked around. His eyes rested on Johnny and he closed his eyes again, groaned and crawled further under the bed clothing.

‘Come on, LaRusso. Get out of my fucking bed. You have a home to go to, don’t you’ Johnny got up and pulled the bed clothes away.

‘Fuck off, Johnny’ Daniel murmured.

Johnny walked into the kitchen and started to make coffee, banging the cabinet doors and coffee mugs loudly. A few minutes later Daniel staggered in, dressed, and buttoning his shirt up. Johnny thrust a mug of coffee into Daniel’s hand, smirking as some spilled on Daniel’s shirt, and sat down heavily on the sofa.

‘Thanks’ Daniel yawned, wiping his shirt. ‘Are you always so cheerful in the morning?’ he said as he drank. He grimaced. This coffee was not what he used to. It was strong, bitter, and burnt.

‘Only when I find a fucking LaRusso in my bed’ Johnny muttered, drinking his coffee. 

He looked at Johnny as he drank his coffee. Something was wrong. Johnny had woken up angry. Daniel could see the tension in the man’s jaw, his teeth clenched, and the hardness of Johnny’s eyes as he stared into his drink. Johnny was gripping the mug unnecessarily tight.

‘Are you OK?’ Daniel asked carefully.

Johnny didn't answer, just drank his coffee. It was 7am and Johnny wanted a fight, Daniel could feel it. The man wanted to lash out.

Johnny placed his mug heavily on the coffee table and looked at Daniel. ‘So, I’m still here. I didn’t blow my brains out or slit my wrists. You’ve done your bit. You can fuck off home now’ he said nastily.

Daniel didn’t respond. Daniel knew what was going on. Johnny was retreating, trying to push him away. He decided that he would let Johnny say what he needed to say but wasn’t going to let himself be goaded into a fight. He drank his coffee in silence.

‘Why are you even here?’ Johnny asked. ‘You don’t care. You never gave a shit about me. You didn’t care when it might have made a difference’ 

Daniel sighed loudly and looked at Johnny. ‘Are you done?’ he said. ‘Got it all out of your system?’

‘Just get the hell out of here, man. I don’t need your help’ Johnny said, standing up. 

Daniel put his mug down and stood up. He held his hands up in surrender. ‘OK, Johnny. I can tell you want to be by yourself. I’m gonna go. I’ll drop by later, check in on you’ Daniel picked up his jacked and car keys and walked towards the door.

‘Don’t bother. I don’t want you there. Just leave me alone’ Johnny said, following him to the door, talking to the man’s back.

‘I’ll see you later, Johnny’ Daniel said as he left. He heard the door slam behind him. 

Johnny turned and looked at his apartment. It was tidy. That prick had cleaned! Johnny roared with anger and flipped the kitchen table, sending items everywhere. He swept his arm across the kitchen counter, crockery and glasses smashing as they hit the floor. 

Johnny grabbed a bottle of whisky and walked to his bedroom, kicking his broken possessions out of the way as he went. Johnny slammed the bedroom door behind him.

****************************

Miguel wasn’t surprised to see a message informing them that there were no classes today. The message said that their Sensei was sick. He stood outside Johnny’s apartment wondering if he should knock on the door and check in on him. He decided to stay away. Miguel didn’t really know what to say to Johnny, felt wildly unqualified to support Johnny in whatever he was going through. Instead Miguel spent the morning hanging out with some of the other Cobra Kai but was quiet and withdrawn. He had a lot on his mind.

He left early, too much on his mind, and rode his bike back to the apartment block. Miguel wheeled his bike through the parking lot and leaned it against the wall. He was attaching the lock when he heard a sound. 

Miguel turned just as someone took hold of him from behind and pushed him against the wall. He cried out as an arm was twisted behind his back. A large hand pushed the side of his face into the wall. Miguel tried to struggle but whoever had taken hold of him was stronger. 

Miguel felt a breath near his ear. He could smell cigars. ‘Can’t even fight off an old man. Cobra Kai used to be so strong’. Miguel realised who it was and whimpered with fear as the larger man leaned into him, trapping Miguel against the wall. 

Kreese hissed into Miguel’s ear. ‘Consider this a warning. You tell your Sensei to back off and his students will be in no danger. If he persists in fighting me, then people are going to start getting hurt and I’m going to start with his star pupil. You understand?’ Miguel nodded quickly; eyes wide. ‘Good boy’ 

Kreese stepped away and let go of Miguel. Miguel turned slowly, just in time to see the man walk round the corner, out of sight. He leaned forward, putting his hands on his knees as he tried to steady his breathing. 

Miguel looked at Johnny’s door. He started towards the door and stopped. Instead he climbed onto his bike and started cycling.

Daniel opened the door to the wide-eyed boy on his doorstep. Daniel knew something was wrong.

‘Miguel, what are you doing here?’ he asked

Miguel had been afraid but was now just angry. ‘That man from the dojo, he came to see me, spoke to me’

Daniel’s eyes widened. ‘You’d better come in’ He stepped aside and let Miguel in.

*************************

Johnny rolled off the bed onto the floor. He picked his head up and looked slowly at the whisky bottle still in his hand.

_Shit. Empty._

Johnny tried to stand, pulling on the edge of his bed. He staggered to his feet and out of the room. He moved down the hallway, holding onto the wall as he went. He knew he had another bottle somewhere. 

He walked into the kitchen and looked around him. His kitchen was trashed. Johnny ignored it, stepping over the debris, making his way to the cupboard. He took out another bottle of whisky. Johnny opened it and downed a mouthful.

His throat burnt as he started towards the sofa. He didn’t make it, suddenly deciding the floor looked more comfortable. Johnny clumsily sat on the floor. He took another mouthful of whisky.

Johnny leaned against the coffee table and pulled his knees up to his chest. He brought the whisky bottle to his lips and started to drink, downing mouthful after mouthful of the brown liquid. His stomach rolled, protesting against the alcohol, but he ignored it and kept drinking. 

**************************

Daniel stood outside Johnny’s door, banging loudly. He had been knocking for a while and was starting to get worried. 

‘Johnny, I know you’re in there. You need to open the door right now’ Daniel knocked again. 

Miguel was behind Daniel, watching as Daniel tried to get Johnny to open the door. ‘Do you think he’s hurt?’ He asked.

Daniel turned and looked at Miguel. Miguel was anxious and the concern in Daniel’s eyes was frightening him. 

Daniel tried to soften his face and smile, but it came out as a grimace. 

Daniel put his hand on Miguel’s shoulder. ‘I need you to go home. I’ll handle Johnny, OK’

‘No, Mr LaRusso….’ Miguel protested.

‘No, nothing Miguel. This isn’t for you to deal with. I’ll look after him, I promise’ 

Miguel hesitated and nodded slowly. He turned and walked back to his apartment, closing the door behind him. Daniel knew that Miguel would not go far; could almost feel him watching through the spy hole. 

Daniel turned back to the door. There was still no response. Daniel needed to get in. He started to walk round the building. The blinds were closed on the main window. Daniel tried to peer through, cupping his hands around his eyes but could see nothing.

He saw a high window that looked into the kitchen. Daniel tried to reach the window. He found a discarded box and climbed onto it. He looked through the grainy window and down into Johnny’s kitchen. 

Daniel could see debris on the floor and the kitchen table on its side but no sign of Johnny. He shifted his weight and looked around the corner of the kitchen counter. 

Johnny was lying on the living room floor, face down on the carpet.

‘Shit’ Daniel hissed as he jumped down. 

Daniel hurried round to the front door and did the only thing he could think of. He kicked the door as hard as he could. The door was cheap and gave way easily, breaking the catch.

Daniel ran to Johnny. He was unconscious. Daniel rolled Johnny onto his back.

‘Johnny, buddy, wake up’ Daniel pulled on Johnny’s t-shirt. There was no response. Daniel felt for a pulse, putting his ear to the man’s chest. He could hear a faint heartbeat and could feel Johnny breathing.

Daniel started to shake Johnny and resorted to pulling a handful of the other man's hair. Johnny didn’t respond. Daniel could smell the alcohol on him, could see that he had vomited. He looked around and his eyes landed on the two empty whisky bottles.

Johnny had drunk two bottles of whisky since Daniel had left four hours ago. Daniel started to panic. That was way too much alcohol for even Johnny, who Daniel knew could handle his drink.

‘Johnny, you need to stay with me’ he said to the motionless man.

Daniel took his cell out and called an ambulance. The paramedics on their way, Daniel rolled Johnny onto his side in case he vomited again. Johnny was deathly pale and still not responding. Daniel put his hand on Johnny’s arm and realised how cold the man was, despite the warm day.

Daniel shrugged his coat off and put it over Johnny. He sat with him until he heard the sounds of sirens outside. Johnny still wasn’t responding.

************************

Johnny was sitting up in a hospital bed as Daniel opened the door. Johnny felt terrible but was awake. The doctors had pumped most of the alcohol out of his stomach. They had told him that he was dangerously dehydrated, and they would be keeping him in overnight for observations. The doctor had said that Johnny would have been in serious danger if Daniel hadn’t found him when he did. Johnny received a lecture about the dangers of drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. Johnny had heard it all before.

‘Hey, LaRusso’ Johnny’s voice was hoarse from the tubes the doctors had put down his throat. He felt nauseous and weak, his head pounding.

‘How are you?’ Daniel asked, standing next to Johnny’s bed. He looked at Johnny. The other man looked awful, a grey tinge to his skin.

‘Like shit’ was all Johnny said.

‘You scared the hell out of me, Johnny. What were you thinking? If I hadn’t found you, you could be dead right now. You could have choked on your vomit, had a seizure or heart attack or something’ Daniel knew he shouldn't be lecturing Johnny, but he was so worried about the other man and was upset. 

‘I know, I know, LaRusso. Just stop’ Johnny said, rolling his head away.

Daniel put his hand on his arm. ‘What were you trying to do, Johnny?’

‘Stop it, LaRusso’ Johnny pulled his arm away. ‘I wasn’t trying to do anything, OK. I just wanted a drink’ he said angrily.

Daniel held his hands up in surrender. ‘Alright, Johnny’ He lowered his arms. ‘I called Robby’

‘Why would you call Robby?’ Johnny asked, his voice tired.

‘He’s your son. You’re in the hospital’ Daniel said, shocked that Johnny would even ask.

‘What did he say?’ Johnny sounded so hopeful it broke Daniel’s heart a little.

‘He wants to see you when you get out’ Daniel paused, didn’t know how to say the next thing but Johnny needed to know. ‘Johnny. Kreese attacked Miguel’

‘What?! When?!’ Johnny asked. He looked pained and tried to get up, staggering in his weak state. ‘Oh god, what did he do? Please Daniel…. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Jesus, I’ve got to go….’ Johnny started to reach for his jacket. He was suddenly dizzy from standing too quickly and gripped the bed. 

Daniel stopped him, stood in front of Johnny, and put his hands on his arms. Daniel looked at Johnny, caught his gaze. ‘Calm down, OK. He didn’t hurt him. Miguel’s fine, a little shaken but fine. You need to sit down’

Johnny sat heavily on the bed. ‘Kreese attacked my shrink. That’s how he got hold of my file. He broke her arm. They called me, told me that he had forced his way into her office. He’s a fucking animal, Daniel.’ Johnny put his head in his hands, looking down as he spoke. ‘He’s beaten me, Daniel. Again. Just like he said he would’ Johnny looked up at Daniel. ‘I think…. I think I need to tell people. Like you suggested. I feel like it’s the only thing left. Miguel knows anyway. Can I do that? Can I just start telling people? Is that, like, libel or something?’

‘It could be. He might sue you for libel’ Daniel said, thinking.

Yeah, that’s what I thought’ Johnny said, sadness in his voice.

‘He could sue you for defamation. Wait a moment. That’s not a bad idea’ Daniel was starting to get excited. He had an idea. ‘Defamation laws. Why didn’t I think of this before?’ He smiled at Johnny ‘You talk, make a fuss, tell anyone who will listen. Kreese denies it, calls you a liar, sues you. He would then have to prove in court you lied. It reopens the whole thing. And I am here as a witness this time. And the burden of proof is lower than before’

Johnny was looking confused. ‘Man, I don’t know what you are talking about’

Daniel sat next to Johnny on the bed. ‘If he sues you for libel, for saying he abused you, he will need to prove that it’s a lie. And it wouldn’t be a criminal case so for you to win they would only need to prove that it very likely happened, not beyond a reasonable doubt. He won’t go to prison, but it will ruin him. He will never be able to run a dojo’

Johnny thought about it. ‘And what if I lose?’

Daniel shrugged. ‘Then you lose. But Johnny, we have to do something. This is something we can do’. Daniel took out his cell phone. ‘I have a friend who is a lawyer. I can look into it if you want’

Johnny sighed. ‘I’m out of ideas. If you think something will work, then let’s try it’ Johnny sat back on the bed. ‘When I get out of here, I’m going to talk to Robby, tell him everything’. 

‘Are you sure?’ Daniel asked, surprised.

‘If we are going to fight this, I need to stop hiding from it. Kreese still has power over me as long as I’m hiding my past from people’. Johnny looked at Daniel, determined. ‘I’m going to talk, tell people what happened.’

********************

Daniel stood in the doorway of the dojo and looked at Robby, who was sitting on the bed. He was reading Daniel’s book about Okinawa and hadn’t noticed the man watching him. Daniel turned to where Johnny was standing a few meters away, kicking at the floor with the heel of his sneaker nervously. As Daniel looked back at Robby, he wondered how on earth he had not noticed the similarities between the two men sooner. Looking at them now, there was no doubt who Robby’s father was. There was so much of each other in them.

Johnny stayed behind, in the doorway. Robby looked up at Daniel and then noticed his father.

‘Dad?’ He stood up.

‘Hey Robby’ Johnny said, stepping into the room. ‘How’s the shoulder?’

Robby rolled his shoulder. ‘Getting better’

There was an awkward silence between father and son, neither knowing what to say to the other. Johnny looked round at Daniel, as if asking for support.

‘I’m going to go inside, leave you two to talk’. Daniel patted Johnny on the shoulder as he passed, gave Johnny what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

Johnny walked towards the bench and sat next to his son. He looked down at his hands as Robby looked at the wall in front of him. Neither knew what to say.

‘I’m glad you’re feeling better’ Robby finally said. 

‘Thanks. I shouldn’t have let myself get like that’ Johnny said, not taking his eyes away from his hands.

Robby looked over at his father. He was nervous, Robby could feel the anxiety coming off of him. His father was sometimes cocky, sometimes pissed off, but he had never seen him nervous.

‘Mr LaRusso said you wanted to speak to me about something?’ Robby said.

‘I do. I need to tell you something,’ Johnny responded. He paused. ‘You’re gonna hear something about me in the next few days and I want to tell you first. It might upset you, but you need to know. This is going to have an impact on our lives for a while. Just until I sort things out’ Johnny said carefully.

Robby looked at his father, eyes wide. ‘Did you do something?’ he asked.

Johnny smiled sadly at him. ‘No, I didn’t do anything’ The smile disappeared from his face. Robby had never seen his father look so serious. He looked weighed down by something. 

‘Dad, I know we don’t have a good relationship, and maybe that hasn’t always been all your fault, maybe I could have been better as well. But whatever is going on, I can handle it’ Robby took his father’s hand.

Johnny looked down at their hands. He couldn’t remember the last time he had held his son’s hand. Probably when Robby was a child. He looked up his son. ‘When did you become more mature than me?’ he asked, smiling.

Robby smiled back. ‘When I turned eight’

Johnny laughed. ‘Smart ass’ He stopped laughing and blew a long breath out, letting go of Robby’s hand. ‘OK. Uh...I can’t believe I am about to tell you this. Uh…. when I was a kid...my...uh…. sensei’

‘Mr LaRusso said that your sensei was pretty bad’ Robby commented.

‘Yeah, you could say that’ Johnny took another long breath and started to wring his hands. ‘He was...uh...violent. No, no, not violent. Abusive’ Johnny choked on the last word. ‘Towards me’

Robby just stared at his father in shock. This was not what he was expecting this to be about. Robby didn’t know how to respond. ‘Shit’

Johnny was still looking at his hands. He couldn’t look at his son.

‘He hurt me...made me do things. It was bad. It screwed me up for a long time. It’s still screwing me up’ Johnny finally looked at his son. ‘I’m telling you this because he’s come back, after all these years’

‘Why? Why is he back in your life?’

‘He wants the dojo, Cobra Kai. Daniel and I have a plan to fight him, but this is all gonna come out. I wanted to be the one to tell you, before you hear it from anywhere else’

Johnny waited for his response. Eventually Robby spoke.

‘Did you...uh...ever tell anyone? Back then?’ Robby asked. ‘Your parents?’

Johnny laughed bitterly. ‘No one believed me. They said I was lying’. 

‘Are you serious?’ Robby looked at Johnny, shocked.

Johnny nodded. ‘They pressed charges, it went to court and he was found innocent. Things weren’t like they are now. People just believed the adult in the room. And I was a problem kid, always fighting, getting into trouble. That’s all they saw’ 

Johnny turned his body so he could look his son in the eye. 

‘I let this stuff own me for so long. I just carried it around like a weight. It ate me up and I let it affect everything. Including my relationship with you. But I am not going to do that anymore. I’m trying to take control of it’

Robby nodded. He took his father’s hand and squeezed. Robby had never really thought too much about why his father had been absent all those years. His mother had just told him that Johnny was a loser who couldn’t hack being a father and Robby had always believed her. He had just taken it for granted that his Dad didn’t want to be around him, just wasn’t interested in being a parent. Robby realised now that there was more than that. Maybe it’s a part of growing up to discover that your parents have problems in their life that have nothing to do with their kids, he thought. His father has shared someone with him that was deeply painful, and Robby wanted to be there for him.

‘Whatever you and Mr LaRusso have planned, I’ll be here OK. And I’m glad you told me’

Robby put his arm around his father and Johnny pulled him into a hug. He felt a lump in his throat as Robby hugged him back. If there was one good thing Johnny could take away from this situation it was the hope that he could rebuild a relationship with Robby.

***********************

Johnny sat at the LaRusso’s kitchen table that evening. Daniel passed Johnny a beer. Johnny held his hand up, declining. He still felt rough from the hospital and was determined to cut down. He would never admit it but the day before had frightened him. Johnny had been drunk before, had passed out plenty of times, but never like that.

‘How did it go?’ Daniel asked.

‘OK’ Johnny said. He smiled at Daniel. ‘He’s a good kid’

‘He is’ Daniel took a sip of his beer and watched Johnny. Johnny was silent. Daniel eventually spoke. ‘I spoke to a lawyer, about what I suggested’

‘Oh yeah. What did they say?’ 

Daniel hesitated. ‘It’s risky Johnny. If he wins, he could take everything from you. And we are going to need to make a lot of noise about this, force him to defend himself’

Johnny just nodded, looking at the table. 

‘This needs to be public if it is going to work’ Daniel said. He was watching Johnny.

Johnny looked up at him. He knew that the other man was concerned about him. ‘I can handle it.

‘Yeah?’ 

Johnny nodded, determined. ‘Yeah. I can handle it’ he repeated.

‘OK, Johnny. First, you need to go to the All Valley Committee, tell them about your concerns. They will have to act. They’ll have no choice but to take it seriously. Tell them what happened and that he threatened you, that he illegally accessed your files to intimidate you. He may just go away once he knows you are talking. Or he might sue you, say you are lying. Or he’s going to publicly deny it, call you a liar. If he does that, you can sue him. Either way he ends up in court and all this becomes public record. He’ll never own a dojo again’

Johnny looked at his hands and nodded. He was silent for a moment. He looked up at Daniel.

‘Thanks for this, Daniel. And I’m sorry for what I said. I know you’re trying to help. And I’m not mad about what happened before. We were just kids, you know’

Daniel nodded and put his hand on Johnny’s arm. Johnny didn’t pull away. 

**********************

Miguel was laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had seen the ambulance arrive at the apartment block and knew who it was there for. As he had seen the paramedics run towards Johnny’s apartment and Daniel’s panicked face as he opened the door, Miguel’s brain had gone back to what that man had said. Multiple suicide attempts. Miguel had feared the worst and run towards Daniel.

Daniel had held Miguel back, gently told him that Johnny was alive, had just drunk too much. The paramedics were taking Johnny to hospital, telling them it was likely they would need to get the alcohol out of his system. Daniel had left Miguel standing in the street, watching the ambulance drive away.

He got up and walked towards the door of the apartment. He knocked on Johnny’s door. The door opened and in front of him stood Robby Keene.

Miguel looked angrily at him and then his face changed to confusion.

‘You? What are you doing here?’ 

Miguel expected an angry response, but the other boy didn’t seem surprised or upset by Miguel’s visit.

‘I’m looking after my Dad.’ 

‘Your Dad? What do you mean your Dad?’ he said aggressively. 

Miguel was confused. And then he thought back to the tournament, how his Sensei had run to the other boy after Hawk had injured him. At the time he just thought Johnny was apologising but looking back the worry on Johnny’s face had been clear. It all made sense.

Miguel nodded to himself. ‘Sensei Lawrence is your Dad’ he said, confirming the fact in his head. ‘Shit, I didn’t know’

Robby shrugged. ‘Yeah well, we don’t spend much time together. You get more of his time than I ever did’ Robby said bitterly.

Miguel looked embarrassed. ‘I didn’t…… look, I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight right now. That man was here. I need to speak to Sensei’

‘That man was here?’ Robby said, his face went dark. ‘I wish I’d met him. I would have killed him’

Miguel stared at him. ‘You know?’

Robby looked at Miguel for a moment ‘Dad told me’ He paused. ‘He told you?’ Robby was hurt. He felt like he had shared a moment with his father, just to find that he had told Miguel first.

‘Not really’ Miguel said nervously. ‘That man came to the dojo and I overheard them talking. Sensei was really upset’

Robby looked at him and nodded silently.

‘Can I see him?’ Miguel asked.

Robby moved out of the doorway. ‘Sure, come in’

**************************

Johnny climbed into the car. He didn’t speak, just pulled his seat belt across himself. The other man watched him impatiently.

‘Well? How did it go?’ Daniel said.

Johnny looked slowly round at Daniel. He sighed. ‘Alright, I think. They seemed awkward, like they didn’t know what to say to me’

Daniel had arranged a private meeting between Johnny and the heads of the All Valley committee. Johnny was to tell them about Kreese, about his concerns about Kreese being allowed to teach children. 

The two men had been curious at first; had asked Johnny why he felt this way. Johnny had taken a deep breath and told them what had happened to him. He had explained that Kreese had been found innocent in court, but Johnny had not been lying all those years ago and he couldn’t sit by as Kreese was allowed to be near children.

The two men had asked questions respectfully and then thanked Johnny for his time and let him leave. 

‘I don’t think they know what to do’ Johnny commented to Daniel.

Daniel smiled sadly. ‘This is probably the first time this has come up. The guy was technically found innocent but if he’s a danger, they could be liable if anything that happens, and they knew. What do they do?’ Daniel mused to himself. 

Johnny shrugged. ‘Let’s see if he responds’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has expanded and I am breaking it up into smaller chunks. Not sure now how many chapters it will be.
> 
> Thank you for your kind comments. You don't know how much they motivate us to keep writing 🙂


	5. Chapter 5

Johnny stood in the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. The room hadn’t changed in thirty-five years. The reflection in the mirror had. 

Johnny ran his hand through his hair. He splashed a handful of water on his face. Johnny took a paper towel and dried his face. He reached up and smoothed his hair back down. Johnny adjusted his tie. 

He knew he was finding reasons not to go out into the corridor, afraid that Kreese would be waiting for him.

The bathroom door opened, and Daniel stepped in.

‘Johnny? Are you OK?’ He asked

‘Yeah, just thinking’ He looked round. ‘You know I hid in this bathroom back then. It hasn’t changed’

‘They are going to get started in a minute’ Daniel said gently. 

Johnny nodded. ‘Is he here?’ Johnny looked back into the mirror.

‘Yeah, he’s here, Johnny’ Daniel placed his hand on Johnny’s arm, attempting to comfort him, Johnny jumped, not expecting the man’s touch. ‘It’s gonna be OK, Johnny. It’s going to be different this time’

Johnny didn’t respond, just ran his hands over his face and stood back, looking in the mirror. 

Daniel watched Johnny. He had read the transcripts of the original court case. They were on public record and Daniel had managed to track them down. He almost wished he hadn’t. They made for gruelling reading. Daniel didn’t mention to Johnny that he had the documents. When Daniel had read them, he felt like he had been invading Johnny’s privacy somehow. Reading what the seventeen-year-old had endured in an attempt to get justice had been heart-breaking and he couldn’t imagine what Johnny was feeling having to go out there and relive it.

‘Let’s get this over with’ Johnny said as he turned away from the mirror. 

They left the bathroom and walked down the corridor. It was the same building but thankfully not the same courtroom. The case was being heard by a single judge who would preside and make a judgement. No jury this time, just lawyers and a judge. Johnny wasn’t sure if it was better to have to convince twelve people or know that the outcome was in one person's hands. 

Johnny had skipped the preliminary hearings. There had been long discussions between lawyers on points of law and Johnny had barely understood what they were arguing about. He had decided it was just something else to worry himself unnecessarily about and stayed away.

He was the defendant this time, or ‘respondent’ as they kept on referring to him. He was being accused of libel, trying to ruin an innocent man's reputation. When he had received the summons, had been served documents on behalf of Kreese’s lawyers, he almost couldn’t believe that Daniel’s plan had worked. Part of Johnny was happy that Kreese had responded in a way that they had expected but another part of him, a part that he hadn’t shared with Daniel, was worried. Kreese was always so sure of himself and to let himself get dragged into another court battle meant that he was confident that again no one would believe Johnny. 

Johnny knew that if he lost this battle it would be over. Kreese would have won and would take everything. The prospect terrified him, and he was struggling to put that thought into the back of his mind.

Daniel and Johnny entered the courtroom. Johnny looked round and saw Miguel and Robby with some of the kids from the dojo. Johnny stopped. He hadn’t thought they would be here to see this, to hear everything that happened to him. 

Daniel turned towards him. ‘Are you OK?’ 

Johnny dragged his eyes away and towards Daniel, the other man’s concern evident on his face. ‘I think so. I didn’t know the kids would be here’

Daniel put his hand on his arm. ‘They’re all your friends. We’re all on your side’

Johnny simply nodded and walked towards the front of the room. Kreese was there, with his lawyers. The man turned and looked at Johnny. He didn’t smile.

Johnny looked away and sat at the front with Daniel. He couldn’t look at his old Sensei. He looked down at his hands instead. The wooden seats, the smell of the room, the hushed voices. It was all taking him back to the last time he was in court. His throat felt constricted and he could feel a rising sense of panic.

He swallowed heavily, determined to push the feelings down. He wasn’t a child anymore. Johnny clenched his fists and looked up, taking a deep breath, using one of the exercises that his doctor had taught him. He breathed through his nose and out through his mouth.

Daniel looked at the other man, saw his eyes were closed. He recognised the calming exercises.

The first day of court would start with Kreese. Johnny was determined to sit through it and knew this time he had to keep his thoughts to himself, no matter what Kreese said. 

The judge entered the room and they all stood. She took her seat, motioned for everyone to sit. She read through the paperwork in front of her, everyone in silence, waiting for her to speak.

‘Mr Kreese? Mr Lawrence? Are you both in attendance?’ she looked around.

Kreese’s lawyers answered. ‘They are, Your Honour’

‘Good’ she turned to the lawyer. ‘Are you ready to proceed?’

‘Yes, Your Honour’

‘Please go ahead’. 

The lawyer stood. ‘John Kreese please’

Kreese stood and walked towards the stand. He sat and his eyes roamed the room. They stopped when they found Johnny. There was the whisper of a smile on his face. 

Johnny stared back, determined to look the man in the eye this time. He placed his hand on his knee to hide its shake.

Kreese turned away and towards his lawyer.

‘Mr Kreese, you are suing Mr Lawrence for libel. He accused you of sexual assault?’ The lawyer started.

‘Yes. I thought we had out all that ugly nonsense behind us, but he recently come back into my life’

‘You say he came back into your life? Tell the court about your recent run-ins with Mr Lawrence.’

Kreese looked across at Johnny. ‘Of course. He reopened a dojo, named it Cobra Kai. I heard about his win in a recent tournament through the local news. I contacted him and begged him to close it’

‘Why? Why did you wish him to close the dojo?’

Kreese sighed dramatically. ‘Those accusations all those years ago, they had a terrible effect on me. I proved my innocence but no smoke without fire as they say. I became very fearful afterwards, afraid of another accusation, afraid of what people thought of me. It impacted my whole life and my mental health suffered. And when he reopened Cobra Kai. It was like he was mocking me. I begged him to close it or rename it. Anything’

‘You confronted him?’ The lawyer asked.

‘I did. I went to see him’

The lawyer nodded. ‘And what happened?’

Kreese looked over at Johnny. ‘He refused. Laughed me out of the room. I admit I got angry, made an empty threat to sue for copyright of the name. I don’t even know if the name is copyrighted’ He looked at his hands. ‘Next thing I know, I find he is slandering me, all over again, but this time to my peers at the All Valley Karate Committee. And I am having to defend myself all over again’

Daniel looked down at Johnny’s hand, clenched into a fist against his leg, his knuckles white. Daniel moved his hand and touched Johnny’s arm. Johnny looked round at Daniel, his jaw tense. 

‘Tell me about the original accusations’ Kreese’s lawyer asked.

‘Oh, where do I begin’ Kreese said, exasperated. ‘The police came to my dojo, arrested me in front of my class. It was the most awful day of my life, one that I still have nightmares about. I was questioned, my life was dug into. It was humiliating. I was asked questions about my personal life, about my…. sex life. And it was all a lie, all of it. I never touched the boy. They asked me if I was sexually attracted to children! Me! It was awful’ Kreese stopped. He breathed deeply. ‘It affected me deeply.’

‘Are you OK?’ The voice was sympathetic. 

‘Yes, yes. I’m sorry. It’s all just very painful for me’ 

Daniel heard Johnny snort quietly with derision.

‘Please take your time’

‘Thank you. I was dragged into court; my name was dragged through the mud. In the end the case was dropped, the judge ordered the jury to find me innocent after the boy confessed to lying. I was advised to press charges against the boy, but I said no, I just wanted it all to end. And then he came back all those years later, to torment me again. This time I knew I had to fight back.’

Kreese looked over at Johnny, who looked right back at him. Kreese’s mouth moved into a small smile. The smile disappeared. He looked up at the judge. 

‘I put my trust in the justice system last time and I put my trust in it again.’

***************************

Daniel paced backwards and forwards. Johnny sat in front of him, eyes following him, moving from left to right like he was watching a tennis match.

‘That lying son of a bitch. Did you hear what he said in there?’ Daniel was angry.

‘It’s alright, LaRusso. I expected this’

Daniel stopped and turned to the other man. ‘How can you be so calm after hearing all those lies? Don’t they make you angry?’

Johnny sighed. ‘It’s what he does. He’s playing the poor, innocent old man. He did it before. You need to chill out. Getting angry doesn’t help’ He looked at Daniel. ‘Trust me, I know’

‘I know, I know’ Daniel sat down and put his hands together, lacing his fingers and leant on his knees. He turned his head towards Johnny. ‘Are you OK?’

The other man nodded. ‘I’m OK. Just keeping it together’ he said with a tight smile.

They looked up as the door to the courtroom opened. Miguel put his head round the door and looked at them. 

‘They are getting ready’ he said. Johnny stood. 

‘You ready?’ Daniel said to him.

Johnny breathed and nodded. It was his turn.

************************

Johnny looked around the courtroom. He caught Daniel’s eye, who gave him an encouraging smile. Johnny took a breath. It was the same but different. Sitting on the stand looking out at the courtroom. Johnny wasn’t afraid this time. He was older, stronger. He could handle this. It wouldn’t end as it did last time. He steeled himself against the memories, pushed them away.

A lawyer stood in front of him. Everyone looked younger now, and Johnny wondered if maybe it was just him who was older. 

‘Mr Lawrence, you are here because you publicly accused your old teacher of assaulting you, an accusation that he denies. Why, after all these years, make these accusations?’

Johnny breathed. He knew what he wanted to say. ‘I thought my former Sensei was dead for years and one day he turns up in my dojo and demands that I turn it over to him. He told me that it belongs to him. He wanted to teach my students. I couldn’t let him teach again after what he did to me’

‘You realise that he disputes this? Mr Kreese says that he asked you to close the dojo and you refused’ the lawyer said.

‘Well, he would say that, wouldn't he. And he’s lying’ Johnny looked at Kreese, who crossed his arms across his chest and held his gaze.

‘My Lawrence, you accused him of assaulting you back in nineteen eighty-four. Records show that you then confessed that you had in fact lied. Why make the accusations again? What do you have to gain from slandering my client all these years later?’

‘I never confessed to lying’ Johnny retorted firmly.

The lawyer walked over to the table and picked up a file. He started to look through and stopped. ‘ _I take it back. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I take it all back_. You said that. This is on record. Are you saying that this is not a confession that you lied?’

Johnny looked with narrowed eyes at the lawyer. ‘I was a kid on the stand, alone, being accused of all kinds of awful things. I was upset. I didn’t say I lied. I said I give up.'' He breathed, calming himself. ‘I was a mess and I had no support from anyone, and they broke me, just like they intended to. Those are not the words of a kid confessing to lying, those are the words of a kid giving up, realising that they are not going to get any justice’

The lawyer placed the paperwork back on the table. ‘Mr Kreese says you spoke to him, that he came to the dojo. Did he ask you to close your business’?

‘No. If anything he seemed pleased I had opened it’

‘After which you went to the All Valley Committee and repeated your accusations against him?’

Johnny nodded. ‘I did’

‘Did they believe you?’

‘I don’t know. I think so’

‘Did you worry at all about the impact your accusations could have on Mr Kreese?’ The lawyer asked.

Johnny looked at Kreese. Kreese sat with arms folded, staring daggers at his old student.

‘No’

The lawyer smiled up at the judge. ‘Why not? You must have known that it would impact him? It is a very serious accusation, to accuse someone of assaulting a child’

Johnny looked at the lawyer. ‘I didn’t care about the impact on him. All I care about is that man not getting anywhere near the kids in my dojo’ Johnny looked Kreese in the eye. ‘He’s evil. He abused me and I will do anything to ensure that none of my kids have to suffer that. That’s all I was thinking about’.

****************************

He was exhausted. All he wanted to do was go home and go to bed. Johnny had left Miguel and Robby, pleased that the two of them seemed to have found some common ground. He was proud of how they were handling all this. If he could have, Johnny would have kept them out of it, in the dark, but he couldn’t. Johnny was proud of them both.

He stood under the shower, enjoying the relaxing hot spray. He didn’t hear the front door open and a man enter his home.

Johnny stepped out of the shower and ran the towel over his head. As he had sat on the stand he had looked and sounded confident, but it had taken all his emotional energy not to allow the tremble in his voice. In fact, he had been terrified, the memories of his time on the stand all those years ago still very much with him. 

He had always looked back and wondered if things would have been different if he had been stronger, if he had held his nerve all those years ago. He knew that the abuse had affected him, but it had been the court case that had really done the damage.

Johnny walked out of the room; towel wrapped around his waist. Johnny looked to his left as he crossed the hall and stopped. 

Kreese was standing in his living room, looking down the corridor at him.

‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ Johnny said, voice low with anger.

‘I want to talk’ Kreese responded.

Johnny turned and started towards his bedroom. ‘Save it for court. You lost your right to talk when you attacked my student, you son of a bitch. I’ve got nothing to talk to you about’

He moved into his room and walked around his bed, reaching for his clothes. Johnny turned and Kreese was standing in the doorway, leaning against the door frame, arms folded.

Johnny stood in the room, clothes in his hand. ‘You see something you like, old man?’ He growled, angrily.

Kreese shrugged. ‘Nothing I haven’t seen before’

Johnny was angry. He refused to be intimidated in his own goddamn home. He turned away from the other man and, not even sure why, he let his towel drop, stepping into his underwear, and pulling his jeans on. He turned and Kreese was still watching him. Johnny grabbed a t-shirt off the bed and pulled it over his head. He left the room, barging past Kreese as he did. 

He moved into the living room, Kreese following him. ‘What do you want anyway? Or did you just come here in the hope of catching me in the shower’

‘I was hoping we could have a conversation,’ Kreese said calmly. ‘We can put an end to this, you know. You’re going to lose, like you always do, so let’s just end this now, come to an agreement’

Johnny walked towards the kitchen, throwing the fridge door open, taking a beer. ‘I won’t lose’

Kreese moved closer. ‘You will, Johnny. You’re a loser. Always have been. Everything you ever won; it was because of me.’ He smiled. ‘That student of yours. He’s like you, you know. Looks strong on the mat but in real life, he’s weak’

Johnny put his beer down. ‘You stay away from my students’ he said menacingly. 

‘Oh yeah. What are you gonna do about it, huh?’ Kreese laughed. ‘You can’t look after yourself, let alone a dojo full of students. Let me teach them. I’ll make them stronger that you ever were’

Johnny moved towards Kreese, getting close, standing over him. ‘You will never get near those kids’ He gestured towards the door. ‘Get out.’

Kreese looked at him. He wasn’t going anywhere. The old Sensei knew all his students' weaknesses and would do what he needed to get back Cobra Kai. He realised that Johnny wasn’t going to listen to reason.

He stepped back from Johnny. ‘OK Johnny. You want me to leave, that’s fine’ He walked around Johnny and headed to the door. He turned one final time, smiling. ‘But you can’t protect your students from me. Tell them to watch their backs’ He looked thoughtful. ‘I saw your son in court today. He looks like you, you know. A good-looking boy. Tell him to watch himself. There are all kinds of bad people out there just waiting to hurt him. Just ask his father’

‘Stay away from Robby’ Johnny said, tone full of threat.

‘You can’t protect him, Johnny. Weakness runs in his family, and if there is one thing predators can sense, it’s weakness’

‘I’ll show you weakness’ Johnny muttered as he lunged for the other man.

Kreese was ready for it, knew it was coming. He blocked the first punch, the second almost hit him but he stepped back. He fought back, throwing his fist, which Johnny dodged. Kreese threw a roundhouse kick, feeling it connect with Johnny’s ribs. The man staggered to one side and Kreese kit him with a backhanded fist across the face. Johnny was on one knee but recovered from the blow quickly and threw himself at Kreese. The other man dogged the fist and used Johnny’s momentum, grabbing his t-shirt, and spun him, throwing him against the wall.

Kreese moved quickly, throwing his forearm up and under Johnny chin, pushing into his windpipe. The other man struggled, tried to punch him in the stomach, but Kreese blocked it and held the man's wrist against the wall.

He pushed his forearm harder into the man’s throat, making Johnny gag.

‘And here we are again’ he grinned. ‘You lose. Again’

‘Fuck you’ Johnny croaked. He gasped with pain as Kreese pushed harder into his throat.

‘Boy, you need to understand. You can’t beat me. I best you every time’ Kreese looked into his eyes. ‘You’re mine, you understand me. The day you walked into my dojo, a snivelling, weak kid, you were mine. I own every part of you’

He let go of Johnny’s wrist and brought his hand up. Johnny flinched, tried to move and Kreese pushed further into his throat. Johnny started to struggle to breath and Kreese backed off. 

‘This’

He placed his hand to Johnny’s head. He moved his hand down, placed it on Johnny’s chest, over his heart. 

‘This.’ 

He moved his hand down to the man's crotch, placing his hand on him. Johnny gasped as the man took hold of him through his jeans.

‘This. They’re all mine. You can try and fight me, but everything you are is because of me. There’s none of you left, it’s all just me’

Johnny stared into the man’s eyes, not moving.

‘I read your file, you know. I read about what happened to you. Tell me, Johnny. When that man was fucking you, _raping_ you, did you think about me? Did you wish it were me?’

It came back to him, that night. Alone on the streets, a sound behind him, the fear and then the awful, awful pain. 

Johnny tried to turn his head away from the man’s gaze, tears in his eyes. He blinked, tried to push them back, but one escaped and fell down his face. He’d told so few people and now Kreese knew. Another weapon to use against him

‘Oh Johnny, don’t cry’ Kreese moved his hand up, used his thumb to wipe the tear away. ‘Remember what I said about tears. That tears are a sign of weakness. Do you remember?’

Johnny tried to swallow against Kreese’s arm on his throat. He suddenly felt like a small child again, desperate to please his teacher.

‘Yes, sensei’ he whispered.

Kreese smiled. ‘I have something for you. A present’

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a red penknife. He held in front of Johnny's face; whose eyes widened at the sight of it. 

‘Do you remember this? How good it felt. How it calmed you, made you feel better? Do you remember?’

Johnny looked at the knife and back into his Sensei’s eyes. 

‘Do you remember?’ Kreese said gently.

Johnny’s jaw trembled. ‘I remember’ he said quietly. He felt that old craving for release.

‘Take it’ 

Johnny reached up and took the pen knife. He held it in his hand. It felt just like the one he had as a teenager. The weight of it in his hand felt right. Suddenly Johnny couldn’t understand why he ever stopped. That old itch was back.

‘Get your fucking hands off him’ a voice said behind them.

Kreese turned and Johnny looked over Kreese’s shoulder. Robby stood in the room, the door to the apartment open. Miguel was behind him.

Kreese turned his face back to Johnny. He smiled. ‘Looks like the calvary are here’

‘Get away from him’ Miguel said. 

Johnny looked at the two boys. Robby, eyes hard, in a fighting stance, ready to defend his father. Miguel, face angry, behind him. They both were so strong. At that moment Johnny had never been so proud of them. His boys. 

The sight of them gave Johnny renewed strength. He moved his arm up quickly and took Kreese’s hand and twisted the arm that was over his throat. Kreese didn’t see it coming, hadn’t expected it. He cried out in pain as his arm was twisted up behind his back. Johnny pushed him away. 

Kreese staggered but quickly recovered. He stepped forward, towards Johnny, and Miguel and Robby moved between them.

‘Get out’ Miguel said, fists raised.

Kreese laughed, raising his hands in mock surrender. ‘I’ll see you in court, Johnny. Enjoy my gift.’ He turned and left the apartment, pulling the door closed behind him.

Johnny stepped back and leaned against the wall, putting his hand to his forehead. His breathing was heavy. He opened his eyes and looked at Robby and Miguel.

‘Are you OK, Sensei?’ Miguel asked.

He smiled. ‘Yeah, I’m OK. Thanks to you two’ He put his arms around Robby and Miguel’s shoulders.

**************************

‘Johnny!’ 

Johnny looked up to see Daniel running across the parking lot. He raised a hand in greeting as he unlocked the door to the dojo.

Daniel followed him through the door. ‘Robby called me. He said that Kreese visited you’

They walked across the mat, towards the office. 

Daniel had rushed over as soon as he had heard that Robby and Miguel had found Kreese at Johnny’s apartment. He was worried about Johnny. Although now Daniel was pleased to find that Johnny seemed calm.

He followed Johnny into the office. Johnny sat at the desk.

‘Yeah. He crept in while I was in the shower. I need to start locking my front door’ Johnny said with a sigh.

Daniel looked down at him. ‘What did he want?’

Johnny shrugged. ‘To mess with me’

Daniel watched him. ‘Robby said he gave you something’

Johnny smiled grimly. ‘Yeah. He gave me a gift’ Johnny reached into his bag and pulled out the penknife. He placed it on the table between them.

Daniel let a long breath out. ‘Evil bastard’ he said quietly.

‘Yeah. He is that’ Johnny said, his voice tired. He took the knife and put it in his pocket.

Daniel looked at Johnny. ‘Uh...Johnny. Do you think I should take that? You know….’ He nodded to Johnny’s pocket. 

Johnny paused for a moment, looking at Daniel, considering his question. He put his hand in his pocket and placed the pen knife on the table. Daniel picked it up and placed it in his back pocket.

‘Don’t worry about me, LaRusso’ Johnny said, his face firm.

Daniel leaned back against a filing cabinet. ‘How can you be so calm?’ 

Johnny shrugged again. ‘What’s he gonna do? Pretty much all the worst things that someone can do to me, they’ve already been done, and I’m still here. He’s just trying to mess with my head and it almost worked. I’m not gonna let him in again.’

Daniel just nodded. As much as it hurt Daniel to hear it, he knew that Johnny was right. Despite all their differences and rivalries over the year, Daniel had a grudging respect for Johnny’s resilience. Daniel didn’t know if he would be so calm if he were in Johnny’s shoes.


End file.
